Crap Crap Crap!
By confidence
7/25/2011 10:56:59 AM
We got in an enormous fight last night. In the end, I was not in a safe place in my mind and did things that made sense at the time. He ended up throwing my expensive phone into our kitchen floor (by some miracle, it survived).

Anyway, anyone else experience this? Or did/do you just have little fights and move on? We both were so "done" last night. He was ready to call my parents and have me sent on my way. Keep in mind we've invested 11 years of marriage and 4 kids. :(

Also, anyone done family therapy with kids under 9? I'm thinking of doing some sessions for their sakes.


Sounds like boundaries are needed for both.    
"Throwing things! No! Send you on your way? I think you should send him on his way. Throwing things should constitute a call to the police. I do not know what your behavior was but take a hard look at yourself and see what boundaries you need to set for yourself.

Yes we had some crazy fights. It takes time to work out all the crazies. He could be going through withdrawals. You are still fighting PTSD and will be for possibly years.

The kids? Give your self some time with good healing behind you. Consult with God and a good family therapist that has sexual addiction credentials and can list their experience.

As I learned more about boundaries those stopped. Yelling leave the house. Throwing things, call the poise. Walking away when I am speaking, I go for a long drive alone or go to the movie."
posted at 18:33:43 on July 25, 2011 by Hero
stay focused....its hard    
"Withdrawals are hard. I went through the crazies myself. There's a lot for both of you to learn and implement.. Our lifestar coach told us that when you fight and argue, its usually a boundary issue and that one or both of you fall into child modes (being a victim, a persecutor or rescuer). The hard thing to do is for one of you or both of you to recognize falling into a child role and acting like an adult.. Way hard to do.... Good luck, i found my anger outburst calmeddown after 3 months or so... I guess the learning i had to figure out was how to argue productively... (I still don't know how and i get my feeling hurt all time... I hate it. I'm learning to deal with the feeling rather than take it inside and medicate later)

i totally understand the crazies. I got triggered one time at about 1month sobriety because I learned that my wife had told my addiction to her friends.i broke some plants, broke our PC, b, and handed my 2yr old sitting on the kitchen floor the chocolate syrup, and walked out the door in a rage. I felt so foolish afterwards. I never got in rages like that before. Iwas out of control. It freaked me out. Withdrawals suck!.

Good luck."
posted at 19:29:31 on July 25, 2011 by Anonymous

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"One of the false notions of our society is that we are victims of our appetites and passions. But the truth is that the body is controlled by the spirit which inhabits it."

— Terrance D. Olson

“Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar. 1981