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A rough patch
By sonofgod
7/25/2011 2:09:33 AM
It seems that I want to fail. I question often whether or not if God exists. Do I really believe anymore what I've known for years, and years, and years?

If I don't believe in God, then it seems the pain of sin might go away. Why is it that I constantly question now?

I feel like I'm at my breaking point.

Comments:

Your carnal self    
"You question because you want to give in.

This is a typical addict reaction. By starting recovery, you've set up a barrier or a standard of conduct for yourself. Your carnal self is aching for your fix, but that barrier is in the way. Rather than trying to go over the barrier, Satan is telling your carnal self there is no reason to have the barrier in the first place. If God doesn't exist, you can do whatever you want.

The only problem is, God does exist. And you know it. You can't pretend you don't know what you know. If you give in you will only be more dissapointed with yourself and it will be that much harder to resist next time. I took that path for a while and I have brothers who are on that path now. It only brings heartache, pain, and stupidity. Seriously. It makes you far more stupid.

When I've dealt with this in the past, it usually means I am wanting to give in. I am on the edge and I've lost the desire to be sober. It's not long after that that I fall. The solution I found is to pray to God, admit I'm powerless, and ask Him to do for me what I can't do for myself. I don't pray for purity, I pray to have the DESIRE for purity.

This is what has worked for me. I hope it helps. I'll pray for you."
posted at 11:10:21 on July 25, 2011 by iwillnot
A seed that grows    
"I love Alma 32. That Chapter is so great for understanding so many different things, not just faith. I once heard a talk given by John Bytheway of all people that discusses how to help a testimony grow. Like Alma he talks about nurturing the seed in good ground. And then he made an interesting side point. He talked about how sometimes instead of nurturing our faith, we start to turn and tend and fertilize and nurture our doubts. The truth of it is that which ever we till and tend is the one that will grow. The fruit of one is sweet and the fruit of the other is bitter. But both will grow if we care for them. If we dwell on and ponder the things of the Spirit. If we aerate that soil, then our faith WILL increase. But if you dwell on your doubts and water them, of course they will find root as well. Weeds grow fast, but a fruit tree takes time to grow. Be patient, but tend the to the sweet fruits and you will taste the rewards.

Sending a prayer your way."
posted at 06:32:54 on July 26, 2011 by maddy


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