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My First Entry, My story
By mike81
7/19/2011 3:34:42 PM
Hello everyone,


My name is Mike and I'm a sexual addict, I come from Europe and a part of my healing process is writing.

I just turned 30 this year and I'm single, beginning of the year i found my self sad and in spiritual danger, I was unworthy of my past 20 years of pornography and masturbation and in march I decided to talk with my bishop and find some solution, it was very difficult but it was the only way to start my recovery journey.

From March to May, I made a lot of progress, i started a to attend 12 step program, meeting weekly with an LDS therapist online and be-weekly meeting with my bishop.
In the mean time I decided to disclose to the only woman I ever loved my addiction, she accepted it but because she was thinking about marriage, she was hurt and break up with me, after that I loose a little strength and hope but I did what was needed, telling the truth.

Now after 4 months on the recovery road I did some very big mistake since the last month I had an immoral moment with a woman a few weeks ago, and because of that I will delay my "salvation" or I will loose my privilege in the church.
I did not yet told my bishop about that but I'm planning to do that this week.

I will accept what ever I need to do in order to progress in the recovery path, I must be patient and continue and learn from my mistake.

Comments:

Welcome Aboard Shipmate!    
"You are well into Step 1. As you mature in the Recovery process you will find added strength. By the time you finish Step 4 you will have greater understanding and hope in Recovery. The Savior calls it Redemption. This program IS the Gospel. Anyone can benefit from it. We are no different then anyone else in the Church. Yet, we are given this program to help us, You and I, to focus on the Atonement and not on ourselves and our lustful desires. Whether it is Sexual Addiction or drugs or Alcohol or any obsessive compulsive behavior we can be healed. We can become clean from the blood and sins of This Generation. What a generation we live in, what a wild and wicked generation we live in. I recently heard a drug enforcement officer say that there is a Meth lab in every zip code in the United States. Meth is so addictive that one hit is all it takes. It is like having an orgasm for eight hours straight. As with Meth, so with Pornography- yet this is or can be found in every home of the United States. It is everywhere and it hooks us into an SA which can be like a perpetual orgasm. You won't find the Spirit of Elijah with someone who is addicted. Hence, if Elijah did not come, you can readily see why the earth would be utterly wasted at His coming.

Keep up with the writing. It is very helpful. I enjoyed the honesty of your post. It gives others who are struggling a ray of hope. See you here again Bro."
posted at 23:43:19 on July 19, 2011 by 3R's
Mike,    
"Welcome! You sound like are on the recovery path, my friend. There are small setbacks along the way but as long as your path is upwards, you'll be ok. Many of us have made that same mistake you mentioned. It is forgivable. That is the whole point of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We can be forgiven. That is wonderful to think about. You mentioned your losing your "salvation" and "church privileges". Please don't think those worry too much about those things. We are addicts and Heavenly Father judges us by our hearts. You did something truly wonderful in being honest with this lady that you care about. That is more than many of us on this site did. Honesty is the best policy with this addiction-even if it leads to someone we love leaving us. I commend you. You really seem like you know what you have to do. Go to meetings, work the 12 Steps, have a support system.
I would add one thing to the list. Be kind to yourself along the way. I don't mean buy yourself nice things. I mean treat yourself the way you would treat a sick friend. Don't tell yourself how awful a person you are. It is not true and lies only hurt us. Keep going to the ARP meetings until you enjoy going. It may take awhile but it will happen. Good luck, and keep us posted on what is going on with you."
posted at 23:49:01 on July 19, 2011 by Anonymous
Thank you    
"Hello,

Thank you for your precious advise and yes loosing my privileged as a lds but I must say now it is a blessing and i have learned some many things since de last 4 months, that hope is is there.

Yes I know what to do but sometime it is very difficult but, recovery is difficult it's the most challenging time of my life and i know and i have seen already many blessing from that.

Thanks again for your comments."
posted at 00:36:17 on July 20, 2011 by mike81
That is the whole point    
"I loved that line.. anonymous


"That is the whole point of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We can be forgiven."

If I ever get to be in church leadership in my life... I'm going to say that once...
"Welcome to church... the whole point of being here is for you to find forgiveness"

May we all find the forgiveness.. that Christ preciously paid for!"
posted at 00:39:34 on July 20, 2011 by gracefull
Welcome!    
"Thanks mike for sharing your story good luck on your recovery"
posted at 17:02:13 on July 20, 2011 by Teddy
Thank you    
"Hello everyone,

I feel so much strength reading your comments and advice, it is not easy but it is great.
thanks"
posted at 12:36:24 on July 21, 2011 by mike81


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"The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world, but we should "be of good cheer" because He has "overcome the world". His Atonement reaches and is powerful enough not only to pay the price for sin but also to heal every mortal affliction… He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan in His parable, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He binds up our wounds and cares for us. Brothers and sisters, the healing power of His Atonement is for you, for us, for all. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference October 2006