active process
7/15/2011 7:25:17 PM
A quote from a newsletter.

"Recovery is an active process. Relapse begins when active recovery stops. There is no standing still, taking a breather, or pausing for a rest. When the forward motion ends, the backward motion starts. A recovering addict likened it to a tide: It is either coming in or going out, and it never stands still."


"I can't hold the tide from going out... only God can do that.

I like the Country song...

I breathe in I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time

For me whiteknuckling is a recipe for DISASTER. there is nothing I can do of myself besides invite God into my life... and try to get out his way for me.

Sure.. there are all sorts of things I have to let go of... but when i LET GOD.. manage my active recovery... that's when the miracles really start happening.... and thats when I can BREATHE & enter into HIS REST.
posted at 20:06:34 on July 15, 2011 by gracefull
"RachP- just curious how your husband is handling it, if you're married. I'm wondering if there are similarities or differences between how men and women handle this type of trauma. Is he compassionate, helpful, angry, etc.? There's no added shame in being female and addicted. The numbers are fewer, but it's getting to be a 75/25 ratio between men and women and sadly increasing for women. You'll make it to full recovery. I'm only 5 months into my sobriety and recovery and I don't ever want to go back. I love recovery. The other night I was reading a book on recovery from porn addiction (The Porn Trap) and was overcome with fear of someday relapsing. I know fear is bad but a little fear of relapse can keep us humble. I fell to my knees to ask for help to never stray again."
posted at 10:20:02 on July 19, 2011 by Anonymous
"@ anon

No I am not married, so I cannot comment on how husbands react/deal with this. I would like to comment on 'there's no added shame in being female and an addict.' I disagree. Having a sexual addiction is traditionally a man's disease, only recently has any focus been for women. For me it was very shameful being female and having a sexual addiction. I know I was the first female my bishop worked with. He was not quite sure what to think of it all. With that said, he truly started me on my healing path, for he treated me no differently and is still a great support for me. I know shame lessens as time passes, but I would bet there are many more females who need help who will not get it due to shame and lack of awareness that there is help for female addicts.

I hope to make a full recovery, I have had some recovery under my belt and have recently relapsed. I am determined to keep moving forward toward recovery."
posted at 13:14:05 on July 19, 2011 by rachp
"RachP - you might like to read "The Porn Trap" by Wendy Maltz and Larry Maltz. It talks about how around 25% of addicts are women (and on the rise). It also has a lot of stories of women who have recovered from addiction to porn. Overall, I liked this book more than many others I have read. It is very compassionate, practical, and has plenty of short examples. It was recommended to me by a female therapist who is LDS."
posted at 12:04:16 on July 20, 2011 by Anonymous
Women Addicts    
"I agree that there are extra problems as a female addict. It is definitely still seen as a man's problem. It takes a lot to go to a meeting and be likely the only woman there. Many women don't get the help they need because they don't realize they have an addiction. I was married twice, but I can't really give you info on how husbands react because they were both addicts also."
posted at 22:07:56 on July 23, 2011 by dstanley

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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004