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Co-Dependent vs. PTSD: Help for Addict and Partner!
By Confidence1
7/12/2011 11:49:59 PM
Here are some pdf's from a Dr. that compares the two. I found it an interesting observation, and fascinating. It actually makes more clear sense. For one thing, I don't feel addicted to my husband. I feel love for him, but not addicted. Maybe I don't get what is meant by that, but how I take it, I know I'm not. If I had the means, I would leave for at least a couple of nights.

Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, CCSAS
Originally published as an interview on www.pornaddictedhubby.com

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal

http://safepassagescounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Porn-Addicted-Hubby-Interview.pdf />
Trauma and Partners of Sexual Addicts: Why is it so hard for your partner to move on?

http://safepassagescounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Safe-Passages-Trauma-and-Spouses-of-Sexual-Addictsfor-husbands.pdf

Comments:

Obcessive Compulsive vs. Love    
"I get no burning in the bosom from this stuff. I have never felt addicted to my wife. I knew a brother who was. He obsessed her, controlled her, never let her out of his site, would MB when she ignored him, he even went into the fetal position and had withdrawal when she went somewhere without him. Obviously this is very pathological.
Most can attend meetings and find hope and healing. A few are stuck in the same script of sobriety/relapse over and over again. It has become their identity.
I am not a therapist nor will I pretend to be. My Viet Vet buddies who are completely disabled with PTSD have spouses who are super patient and loving but firm as the rock of Gibraltar. These brethren go to AR meetings and find great healing and comfort and have a steady and firm hand of a spouse to keep them steady. My PTSD friend has given me a new understanding of emotional pain and anguish. These guys, many of whom are addicted, are carrying a heavy load around with them 24/7. Many of them are not marriage material as it takes a rare kind of woman to understand and handle them."
posted at 23:47:26 on July 13, 2011 by 3R's
3rs    
"This was more for the benefit of spouses of addicts."
posted at 01:31:16 on July 14, 2011 by Anonymous
These are really great articles    
"Thank you for sharing. Often, people and a lot of addicts new to this do not understand what so many spouses are going trough and think that it is simply a refusal of forgiveness. So many have PTSD, if that is not properly addressed it is impossible to really heal and forgive. People who are experiencing trauma, need healing and patience to work out their wounds. My husband expected that his recovery meant that I would be fine and neither him nor I really understood how traumatised I was. I just felt so crazy and unsafe and felt life was so crazy and unsafe. I was totally unable to emotionnally cope with it. Now a year later it is still diffifult but so much easier, as I have learned more about PTSD, and what my reactions are and how to better manage my emotions.
I do not think I was ever addicted to my husband, I did not care about monitoring him or how Ihe did, I was just so much in pain, I wanted out of the marriage.
That is what I struggle most with, a strong desire when I am struggling (more rarely now) to leave him as a way to get rid of all of this. Does anyone experience this?
But anyways, great articles. Thanks for sharing."
posted at 10:07:38 on July 14, 2011 by crushed
Thanks    
"There is some great info with this link."
posted at 11:11:47 on July 16, 2011 by Hero
Crushed: Normal! :)    
"Crushed, I've felt a "need" to leave him as a way to get rid of all this as well. I believe it's basically a "flight" reaction vs. "fight." However, there will still be the PTSD if not worked through (IMHO) by "running away" from the continual problem (the SA). But, again, I believe totally normal reaction.

Who wants to be next to a match ready to light up and burn you??? I'd want to keep as far away from the match as possible. However, the effects and burns from the past are still there (including PTSD). So, I'm hoping that the match will never light to burn me again... while I figure out this PTSD with my Heavenly Father."
posted at 02:05:46 on July 17, 2011 by confidence


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