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Thoughts from recent addiction recovery conference
By doanair
10/26/2006 11:53:00 AM
Good book for help in fighting porn addiction: http://tinyurl.com/6xxoo . Porn is described in this book as "Visual Crack Cocaine".

~153,000 pornographic web pages are added to the internet each day.

Recovery comes when we truly and honestly work the 12 steps.

Porn is the root to most/all sex addiction. Porn is either the cause or an effect of sex addiction.

Porn destroys intimacy. It injects itself into the middle of the marriage covenant between a man and a woman.

Intensity != (does not equal) Intimacy. Feelings of sexual intensity cannot be compared to intimacy. Porn addicts often confuse the two. Pixels on a screen are not intimacy.

Porn addiction thrives on secrecy and isolation. The less isolated and the less secret an addict's life becomes, the better. Addicts MUST break the secrecy. Tell people when you "slip up".

Porn addiction is first and foremost an emotional problem, with spiritual consequences.

Porn addicts have a disconnect between their head and heart. They think clearly (they know what is right and wrong) but they cannot feel.

Feelings of Shame and inadequacy cause a downward spiral of acting out.

Porn addicts don't understand the true meaning of humility. Instead of self-deprecation, self-loathing, shame, and inadequacy, it is "a soft, feeling heart... without shame."

Worth and worthiness are not the same things. Your worth does not depend on your worthiness. God loves you despite your unworthiness.

Addicts feel estranged from God. That distance or separation may be the cause for the addiction, or the addiction may be causing the distance. Addicts need continued, direct connection with God.

Step 4 should include feelings of Trauma, Abuse, Deprivation and Neglect. These often exist in a porn addict's past. Do an emotional search of your past. Deal with those emotions. Grieve for your childhood if it was lost due to various reasons (divorce, abuse, neglect, etc).

Wives want trust more than perfection. Porn is just like having an affair. Trust takes a LONG TIME to re-build.

Wives need to avoid or overcome possible codependency.

Recovery requires a true change of heart, not just a testimony. This goes back to the heart vs. head thing. A porn addict may know a lot about the Gospel and believe it, but his/her heart is not changed.

Porn addicts are sometimes "human doings" and not "human beings" (back to the heart vs. head thing).

My personal favorite:
Because of porn addict's need to be loved and their tender hearts, if they recover, they can become the most amazing fathers and husbands.

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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation‚ÄĚ. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006