He will deliver me
By ConfidenceIn
7/3/2011 4:35:50 PM
Alma 36:27 — And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me.

Alma 36:28 — And I know that he will raise me up at the last day, to dwell with him in glory; yea, and I will praise him forever, for he has brought our fathers out of Egypt, and he has swallowed up the Egyptians in the Red Sea; and he led them by his power into the promised land; yea, and he has delivered them out of bondage and captivity from time to time.

Church was more edifying than it's been for me in awhile. I mean, don't get me wrong, I attend w/ my kids almost every week, and every other week with my husband. But, the spirit has just not been something I've paid attention to because of life's craziness that I engulfed myself in, instead of my Savior.

Finding out your husband has betrayed all you both hold dear (again), and then to find out it was much more deeper of a problem than ever was shared is devastating, lonely, unreal, and you just hope it's a weird nightmare, that you can wake up and say, "Phew! That whole thing didn't really happen." But, it did. Over 11 years it did. It grew worse and worse.

I knew the spirit was gone. Even in this Ward we've been in for 6 years, the newest Bishop came to our home and told us both (privately afterwards) that the Spirit was not in our home. I knew my husband and I fought too much, but I didn't know that there was an even deeper level of darkness that he'd brought in weekly.

But, I do put my trust in God. He will still deliver me (us both hopefully). He saved the faithful in Egypt. He gave Moses the power of the Priesthood, which gave him the power to part the Red Sea! He saved Ammon from death and brought a King to his knees, asking for mercy for his transgressions. He protected the Brother of Jared (AKA Mahonri Moriancumer) while in vessels tossing in the sea. Of course I could go on!

The story of Ammon actually just came out while typing. Interesting how the Spirit works! :) Right now I want to make my life much more of a testimony; and modest example to those around me.

Today I shared what happened at church with my husband (he had to work). He said he was actually jealous of my experiences. And also sorrowful that he doesn't feel that he would have been helpful to that experience; and mostly bring distraction from the Spirit. But, he mentioned how much he loved me sharing all the testimony building I'd learned in church for the day as it helps him realize what he's been really missing.

I'm so humble from that response. I know I have many things for myself to work on, so I don't think of myself as an example all the time. But, I am a disciple of Christ. Again, I hope and pray that I can be an "Ammon" to my family so I can build myself and be stronger for this severe trial(s), and perhaps, if it be God's will, bless the lives of my family; especially my husband's.


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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006