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Thank you...
By Jenn
10/25/2006 6:58:24 PM
I just want to thank all of you for allowing me to finally understand what my husband is going through. Though he is scared to jump in and really begin the healing process I find peace in reading your experiences. I know that this process that my husband will be going through will be harder than anything that we have been through before. Hopefully i can continue to learn and understand the process all of you are going through. there are times like today when i feel like giving up. Saying something that hit a nerve when it was not even directed at him. I relize i could have probably said it different but it ended up with him telling me that he was not comming home. I hope that we can get through this together. I am tired of waiting part of me just wants to do this for him, but i know that this has to be something he wants to really do on his own. If any of you have suggestions for me with all of this i would greatly appreciate them. Thanks everyone..

Comments:

Hang in there    
"Te and I went the rounds several times before he got to the point where he could admit that part of him hadn't wanted to let go of his addiction before.

Make sure to pray regularly and read the scriptures every day, and have family home evening. Keep the spirit in your home as much as you can. Pray for him to be ready to change.

It isn't easy, but it is possible, and we don't have to go through it alone.

It really helped me to be able to talk to other people about what was going on. I had a sister-in-law who I was able to talk to about it, and that was really helpful. Talk to your bishop, or go see a counselor, but talking to someone makes it a lot easier to deal with everything.

I felt so alone before that. "
posted at 08:23:00 on October 26, 2006 by sophie
PMS    
"I heard this in a meeting once and it has always stuck with me: practice PMS (prayer, meetings and scripture study). These are simple but powerful principles.

Go to a meeting. There are people there who will help you and your husband.

Keep hope alive. There is hope and healing in the Savior's atonement."
posted at 10:32:23 on October 26, 2006 by doanair
An opportunity    
"It's hard to sum up the wealth of advice available (on this site, in the addiction recovery manual, in the scriptures, from your bishop, from the recovery meetings, etc.) but I will just mainly say do not give up hope.

You have a wonderful opportunity before you. I know that the Lord's blessings await the repentant. Despite the hurt and anger and frustration that accompanies this terrible addiction, recovery can bring about wonderful spiritual experiences for both you and your husband. Approach it with a willingness to submit to anything and everything the Lord may require of you to truly change both your heart and your husband's heart, then place your faith and trust in the Lord's power to heal.

I also echo what others have said - remember the basics, there is power in consistent obedience to the simple principles of the gospel. Also, the recovery meetings helped me immensely. It was hard for me to take that first step and attend my first meeting, but I am very grateful I did. "
posted at 20:20:01 on October 26, 2006 by josh
Keep moving forward    
"I think it is really important for you to attend the meetings if at all possible. I've always thought that the meetings were good for my husband, but I don't really need to go. I've only been once since it's hard to find a babysitter on a school night and my kids go to bed at 8, but I REALLY believe that it is just as important for the wives to attend. The first meeting I went to I realized that I had NEVER talked to anyone about this except for my husband and it was really hard for me to openly state what I was feeling. I didn't say too much because I wasn't really prepared for sharing, but the thing that has stuck with me was the overwhelming support and the love that I felt in those meetings. It is good to go and have a support group that can help you put a voice to your emotions and know that what you are feeling is normal and is ok.

Even though you may feel it, you are not alone. Use the support group, go to the meetings, let the Spirit into your hearts and into your home. You have tremendous opportunities for growth ahead of you. My husband and I have had amazing spiritual growth and well as a new depth to our relationship in working through this together. I know it is a challenge and it is not easy, but nothing that is of worth comes easily. Work at your relationship with your spouse and with your Savior and you will be grateful for these experiences. "
posted at 11:36:04 on October 27, 2006 by pam
reply    
"The meetings on sundays are very helpful. They can definitely allow a person to feel comfortable enough to be able to go through the processes, I've found that to be the case anyway."
posted at 22:43:52 on November 6, 2006 by bean bag


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"My brethren who are caught in this addiction or troubled by this temptation, there is a way. Don’t accommodate any degree of temptation. Prevent sin and avoid having to deal with its inevitable destruction. So, turn it off! Look away! Avoid it at all costs. Direct your thoughts in wholesome paths. Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of ography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference, April 2005