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Moderating Rules
By derek
6/25/2011 10:04:59 AM
Doctrine and Covenants 109:8 — Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;

Doctrine and Covenants 109:9 — That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord, that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord, that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High--

Thanks Maddy, for bringing up the topic of rules. I agree that the site and it's "personality" has changed over the years. Originally it was designed to be specifically writing about verses from our scripture reading or hymns or recovery manual steps. But hardly anyone actually uses it for that purpose anymore. But I have always wanted the site to be what the members needed and not only what I needed for my recovery. That said, we could probably have some accepted community guidelines that we post for all to read when they come to the site the first time and easily available to read from the homepage at anytime. I run a couple businesses and have 6 kids and unfortunately I'm not able to get on here everyday to monitor everything that's written. We probably need some additional moderators in addition to myself. So can we use this post for 2 purposes?

First, if you would be interested in being a moderator, reply in here. The moderators will have very limited powers, I haven't decided yet. But maybe even just the ability to give me a heads up if something that violates our community guidelines is going on. I don't want people to be afraid of getting out the feelings that they need to so I want to be very careful about this. So any input on moderator powers and suggestions for moderators would be welcome.

Also, let's try to put together a list of community guidelines. Maybe it's as simple as copying the ARP guidelines. Maybe there are some other things we need to add or things we should take out. Anyway, your ideas would be very helpful.

Comments:

I am interested    
"Keep me posted. I want to thank you for the excellent job that you are doing. I am also thankful that this site is not polluted with so called Anti - Mormon postings."
posted at 13:16:25 on June 25, 2011 by 3R's
The meeting after the meeting    
"My sponsor always talks about how the meeting after the meeting is just as important as the meeting itself. Obviously, after the meeting there is plenty of cross talk etc. But, at least in my experience, the cross talk is then invited because its really just friends talking. I think of this site like the meeting after the meeting.

Maybe a guide line though could be that cross talk should be avoided unless it is invited by what ever post you want to comment on be a the original post or a follow up comment.

I like the option we have here to cross talk and I wouldn't want to lose that. But maybe it should be by invite only. Then if there is no invite a commentator or blogger should stick to their own experience and talk about how recovery is working for them. Not how it should look or work for anyone else, but for them and them alone.

Just a thought"
posted at 15:17:53 on June 25, 2011 by They speak
Concur    
"I like what you said Derek about not wanting to censor people from needing to vent or really get feelings out...even if they aren't pretty. But I don't think that it is acceptable to vent at each other.

I also like the 'cross talk' when it is in I statements and people share their hope or empathy.
I guess the cross talk is only a problem for me when it becomes contentious and there is name calling.

I think that the ARP rules are appropriate, with allowances for venting and cross talk where appropriate. No name calling. I statements. Avoid swearing or vulgarities. Avoid graphic details of the addiction. I think identity protection is important.

I also like the idea of moderators or assistant moderators. Maybe it would be nice to be able to report a questionable post or comment for review.

Those are just a few ideas to make sure this stays a safe haven."
posted at 22:02:45 on June 25, 2011 by maddy
Perfect just the way it is    
"This site has been around a long time and I love it just the way it is.

In real life, people are not always going to be tender with your feelings and the same is true on this site (although, I believe that is the exception). Most everyone who posts on here are very kind and extremely insightful. Sometimes hard things need to be said and or heard. I love the anonymous feature because it allows those of us who want no name connected, to express our feelings.

If offensive words are spoken, just ignore it and move on to something better. If someone is over the top with language that triggers, write Derek and ask him to remove the post.

Why change it? In my opinion, if it aint broke, don't fix it!"
posted at 17:05:09 on June 26, 2011 by Anonymous
Maddy is just upset that everyone doesn't agree with her opinions    
"."
posted at 12:24:53 on June 27, 2011 by Anonymous
stupid people^^    
"And this is why we shouldnt have anonymous posts. If you have a username it can still be anonymous
Just dont use your real name....."
posted at 12:50:04 on June 27, 2011 by taintedlove
Exactly why we should have rules/moderators    
"@Anon1

You're right, sometimes hard things have to be said. The problem is that some conversations degrade into arguing and name calling. Addicted minds are great at beating themselves up and holding on to negative thoughts, especially when those thoughts come from others. "Just ignore it" is not always valid advice. People come here to be lifted up, not belittled or put down.

Also, just a note as I myself am divided on the "Anonymous" issue... signing up for an account and calling yourself "Addict234" or "LovedOne7362" is just as anonymous as "Anonymous". One of the driving forces behind true recovery is taking responsibility for your actions and words. Why not start with a still anonymous account?

@Anon2

This is EXACTLY why we want some order here. Who are you to say that Maddy is angry because people don't agree with her? She never said that. I certainly don't get that tone from her writing. You are injecting your own words and opinions into other people's comments. That is never appropriate when someone is searching for and hoping to find a place to finally be honest and open without being judged.

@Love

My first paragraph about latching on to the negative. Probably shouldn't call people stupid, even if your talking to an invisible anonymous ghost. :)"
posted at 13:57:13 on June 27, 2011 by paul
Maddy    
"Has been nothing but amazing on this site, and I can't imagine anyone finding issue with anything she has to say. These are exactly the anon posts we need to ignore."
posted at 23:26:50 on June 27, 2011 by Anonymous
Maddy    
"Has been nothing but amazing on this site, and I can't imagine anyone finding issue with anything she has to say. These are exactly the anon posts we need to ignore."
posted at 23:27:32 on June 27, 2011 by Anonymous
Anon yes we need to ignore them    
"But as you can see not everyone is able to do so because some people remind us just how selfish an addict can behave. Most if not all are trying to distance ourselves away from such characteristics.

I can handle things as is but I sure wish the the anon with the wise crack above you would think before typing, Anon insensitive dude that would make us all a bit more ready to want to read what you have to say.

The longer you and a few others carry on, the more I am sure you will have to sign in with a user name. I am sure then you will be a lot slower to shoot your opinion out into the open."
posted at 12:44:42 on June 28, 2011 by ruggaexpat
I think Maddy is upset because she likes soup.    
"."

...in the mean time let's take responsibility and see those comments for what they are."
posted at 14:49:54 on June 28, 2011 by they speak
Ha!    
""Likes Soup"...good one Code.

Anyway, Derek!, are you alive? My old user account is actin a fool (I can't access the section with all my posts). I've e mailed and what not. If I had 6 kids I'd tell this site to kiss my grits so I understand but if you're around let me know if there are options. Also it appears you can't view all members anymore. So for example I think there used to be this dude whitewolf or some rad name like that. Since I can't view all members and his name isn't in the recently posted list I'd have to scroll through every single post and try to sift his out. Same as my old post from my old They Speak account. I'm worried the same will happen with my new They_Speak account. This place has accedntily become my quasi journal. Is something wrong with the server? Anyway, love an update when/if you can."
posted at 12:57:46 on October 6, 2012 by They_Speak


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"Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: “No one will ever know.” “Just one more time.” “You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you. When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and comfort and provides encouragement to press on. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990