By hero
6/6/2011 7:08:59 PM

This is part I. I guess my blog was to long and I could not post until I broke it into II parts.

At our PASG'S group a sister shared how when she first started coming and we discussed how we all suffer the symptoms of PTSD, post traumatic shock disorder, that she dismissed it because at the time she did not feel that was the case for her. She lost her mother to a traumatic accident. Every time she would drive near the accident site she would go into a panic attach. She had a friend who was a psychology teacher who talked with her and told her that our bodies have a memory, a biological memory, of times when we go through great shock or stress. This biological memory causes a biological response. When our thoughts go to that memory our bodies react to that thought as if it was the event!

She said that recently she and her husband were planning a trip and would be staying at the same place that her discovery took place. She was surprised to be feeling all the same emotions again she had gone through in the discovery process. She then reflected on what had been discussed in group and could relate her feelings to what she had gone through with the death of her mother. PTSD

Wow, that was so revealing to me.

This made me realize what I had been dealing with for the past 2 years. I know about the effects of PTSD. But this explanation helped understand why after 2 years of healing and working the program and doing all that I could to help myself heal I would still be bothered with those physical reactions that would bring back all the hurt, pain, fear, despair, grief, anger, mistrust……… I wondered if I would ever feel whole again. Did I have to start all over again every time I was triggered? I wondered if even with my very best efforts this is what I was going to have to face. I did not want that life.
I had learned to pray when triggered, in order to distinguish between a prompting and my own thoughts. I say a prayer. “Please if I do not need to feel this way and it is not a prompting. I need you to take these feelings away. “I cannot remember a time the feeling was not taken away. Thank you Jesus, thank you!


I love this post    
"I am having a hard time accepting the fact that I have actual trauma issues. My therapist is recommending me go to a trauma specialist and I am not totally sure why. Oh, she's explained it and I see her point when I am in the office, but when I walk out of her office I question if I need it. A lot has to do with my childhood and some has to do with the betrayal with my husband, the two get tangled up together sometimes. Right now I am trusting her more than myself because I don't think I am very good at making decisions for myself.

The idea that this causes PTSD is hard for me to swallow. I've seen soldiers with PTSD. It is a big, big deal. My problems don't seem so big compared to what they have been through. But as I read this post it made me realize that my body does remember the pain and certain images or situations do trigger me into 'fight or flight' mode.

Somehow I need to find a way to counter that. I'll take your advice and start with prayer."
posted at 21:20:07 on June 6, 2011 by maddy
PTSD Facts    
"Here is some information on PTSD taken from />
PTSD is an anxiety disorder that some people get after seeing or living through a dangerous event.

When in danger, it’s natural to feel afraid. This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in PTSD, this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.

Anyone can get PTSD at any age. This includes war veterans and survivors of physical and sexual assault, abuse, accidents, disasters, and many other serious events.
Not everyone with PTSD has been through a dangerous event. Some people get PTSD after a friend or family member experiences danger or is harmed. The sudden, unexpected death of a loved one can also cause PTSD.

PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:

1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
Bad dreams
Frightening thoughts.
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms:
Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
Feeling emotionally numb
Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.
Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.

3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
Being easily startled
Feeling tense or “on edge”
Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.
Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months.

Many factors play a part in whether a person will get PTSD. Some of these are risk factors that make a person more likely to get PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder. Some of these risk and resilience factors are present before the trauma and others become important during and after a traumatic event.
Risk factors for PTSD include:

Living through dangerous events and traumas
Having a history of mental illness
Getting hurt
Seeing people hurt or killed
Feeling horror, helplessness, or extreme fear
Having little or no social support after the event
Dealing with extra stress after the event, such as loss of a loved one, pain and injury, or loss of a job or home."
Part II    
"I hope both of you RACHP and MADDY read part II of this post.

Thanks for that post Rachp. It defines very well what I was experiencing. Especially when there is little or no social support after the event. That is percisely why getting yourself to a Recovery group is essential in recovery.

posted at 22:28:44 on June 6, 2011 by hero

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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990