Been Too Long
By Zero
6/5/2011 1:42:39 PM
I've been away from this sight for a couple of weeks, which is too long for me. It's been a hectic couple of weeks, though, so I'll have to forgive myself. I started up with a decision that I thought would be a good thing, that society tells me is good, that everyone in my life was excited for, but it quickly became apparent that it was making me miserable and wasn't taking me to a place I wanted to end up at, even if it was an admirable/successful place to be. I've always struggled on whether to conform to society and what they think is good or whether to go about things my own way. I'm not a rebel or a reprobate or anything like that. It's not that I don't want to do the things society deems good and acceptable. Most of the time I DO want to do those things. I just don't want to do it on society's terms. I want to do it my way, in my own time.

Man, I'm such a stubborn beast. Is anyone else like this?

Anyway, as for things more relevant to this site, I've had a few failures in regards to keeping away from pornography and masturbation. Being as stressed and as down as I was, I returned to my old escapes. Bad habits die hard. Does that mean evil habits refuse to die at all? Seems like it.

I would write more, but it's time for church (another thing I've been struggling with). I'm going to try to do better at being active on this site. I've started into this other website, Candeo, which is awesome and I highly recommend if any of you are willing to pay the money ($47/month), but don't worry. I haven't abandoned this website. I already feel like I'm starting to know some of you and I love that. Hope you're all doing well.


You're not alone    
""The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? You may say the wisest thing you can, old man — you who have lived seventy years, not without honor of a kind — I hear an irresistible voice which invites me away from all that. One generation abandons the enterprises of another like stranded vessels." - Henry David Thoreau

I'd say you might even be in good company :)"
posted at 19:55:31 on June 5, 2011 by They speak
Definitely not alone    
"I'm stubborn too. I hope evil habits die. Maybe they just die harder. :)"
posted at 00:56:56 on June 6, 2011 by dstanley
"You aren't alone. With the stubbornness, the addictive behaviors, the not wanting to go to church or the fact (and the most important one) that everyone is here because they haven't given up."
posted at 08:46:42 on June 6, 2011 by maddy

Add a Comment:

***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)

"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004