Find a new pathway.
By 3R's
6/5/2011 10:45:59 AM
Dear Brethren, (and sisters too). I was recently called and set apart as an Elder in the AR with LDS Family Services. My mission is for one year. Last week I presided at a Porn and Sex Addiction meeting and while waiting for every one to show up (we average between 15 to 20 in our group and there are 3 groups) my facilitator who is also an Elder and I had a conversation concerning Elder Ballards talk "Of Souls, Symbols and Sacrament".

What a powerful talk. WE CANNOT EXTINGUISH OUR MALENESS. One LDS Social Worker said "God made us sexual beings" We have sexual urges that are a part of our physiological identity. Elder Hollands remarks make it clear that we cannot extinguish these urges and feelings, as some sisters mistakenly believe, we have to channel them. I repeat: These sexual urges are like a river of molten lava that must be banked and channeled in the way that the Lord has commanded. In a similar vein, that old classic book Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill, there is a chapter called "Sexual Transmutation which is very interesting.

For example, the prophet king David was called a man "after the Lords heart" And what a man he was. As a youth he asked the hunkered down armies of Israel, "Is There Not A Cause" and "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine to challenge the Armies of Israel? This boy had grit, he had passion and lots of it. He maleness was always present. Was he passive? Was he hushed and subdued? His entire story is a story of intense passion and fervor. Until he fell with Bathsheba he had channeled this sexual energy. Our Sexual energy must be channeled and transformed into a direction that will His purposes. So don't beat yourself up or think that you are a broken spirit that is damaged beyond repair. Your a man and God has made you in His image.

Let's all RE CHANNEL this sexual energy and be men. Let's follow the example of the 4 sons of Mosiah and Alma the younger. My favorite was Ammon. After his repentant process and forgiveness he went forth in the strength of the Lord. A skilled marksman, expert swordsman, everything that I want to be (I'm an Ammon Wannbe) and everything that a woman looks for in a man.

Anyway, these are my thoughts and I thought that I would just share them here. What do you think?


Sounds Awesome!    
"I love it. My only question, though, is WHERE do I redirect my sexual energy? I'd love to, but maybe you could offer up some ideas on where to redirect it. And how do I do it? This seems like one of those "easier said than done" sort of things (but without the cynical tone). I'm very open to it. I just need to know the how and where.

I'll have to read both that talk by Elder Holland and that book by Napoleon Hill. Thanks for the ideas."
posted at 13:36:10 on June 5, 2011 by Zero
I absolutely LOVE this post!    
"3R's - Congratulations to the men (and women) who get to experience your insights/love.

This conversation is the NEXT GREAT Conversation that needs to happen, I believe... not only for me individualliy, but it's my judgement this is where the church is going... and there are going to be more and more great talks around this in the next 5-10 years (at least I hope)

I have 100's of thoughts on this... I think it's actually worthy of it's own website probably (Ever wonder why there isn't BYU MEN's week?)

-Male Sexuality (Physiology) is different than Female Sexuality (physiology)
-Recovery is different than Learning how to be a MAN
-Women cannot provide the answer... only God and a community of men can build men.

Gordon B Hinckley said "It's not enough to just be good, we need to be GOOD for something". God has whispered to me more than once..that he doesn't want me to just find 200 days sobriety from porn (or whatever the timeframe), get a temple recommend, dust myself off and pretend something never happened...

The exciting (and scary) think I have learned as I have gone through the recovery process.. is that God is teaching me all sorts of things seemingly unrelated to porn/mb.... (how to be a man, where to direct my new energy... WHO to hang out with, who needs love, etc...)

As for me... I feel like God really wants me to be a witness for him (in small ways) and just be 100% unashamed of him... I think this means missionary work... to members of the church and non-members of the church. the other day... I actually told a girl that I did not care if she told other people I had looked at porn/mb.... my confidence has grown to the point... that I just don't care anymore.... I suspect we as a church will get to the point...where our MASCULINE LOVE for people...(our covenant actually) will absorb any SHAME the Devil can spread around...

Killing the idea of "Mr. Rogers Elder quorum Neighborhood" is a good idea... I for one... am ready to start being REAL, HONEST, 100% committed

As to where to direct sexual energy? --- that is a tricky question... it's basically a miracle... and at the very least.. an acquired skill...

There are all sorts of injustices in the world... we're are basically living in a SPIRITUAL WAR ZONE... and Satan and his crew are going after little children. I think it's time to get more angry about it... and participate in service projects.
I think the key is to find a higher purpose... something that you can really 'surrender to' something like ..... abolishing slavery in the world... helping 10 year old boys find mentors... baptizing 100 people in your life....

posted at 23:00:16 on June 5, 2011 by gracefull
Dear Zero    
"Zero is a good place to start. Then after that you have day one. Let's hit the ground running so to speak. When I first did step 4 in writing down my personal inventory I left all of the good stuff about me. Our facilitator had us write at least 25 things that were good about us. As I made my list I wrote all of the things that I like, some of which I am very passionate about. I would suggest that you start working out or if you are able, start running. What are your passions besides those that God placed in us? A strong sex drive is not the kind of passion that I am referring to. I started playing the guitar again and I found out that I am a pretty good singer. I am attacking that with passion. Another way to say it is ---- I have transformed and channeled my very strong sex drive into my guitar playing.
I joined Toastmasters International and learned how to become a passionate public speaker.

Strangely enough, when I became a single parent dad with 5 very demanding children, who by the way all turned out to be pretty good kids, the way I did it was to find out what their passion was and get behind them and facilitate their involvement. My 12 yr old daughter loved modeling and threatre. By the time she was a senior in HS she was the second highest scoring thespian the school ever had. She never had time to get into trouble. The same thing held true with my sons and my other daughter. One liked Paint Ball- he got it. One liked scouts and became an eagle scout. My daughter liked the Scout program called Exploring which had the sheriffs dept. as a sponsor. Today she is a cop. My youngest son liked dirt biking, scouts and church youth activities. My Bishop got behind me as well.

So what ever you passion is be the best that you can be. Forget yourself and loose yourself in pursuit of it. You must also be very (white hot) passionate about going to meetings, Sacrament, Priesthood, Tithing, Prayer and Temple Worship. Never miss a beat with your daily's. When sexual urges return, and they will, get on your knees and pray. Then it's time to go to work. And it is work!"
posted at 23:02:39 on June 5, 2011 by 3R's
Graceful, your my kind of man.    
"I became very passionate in the Scouting Program with the church and was appalled at the adults in the church that gave little or no attention to "Youth Protection" Also, when we had Sister Missionaries in our Ward I informed them of the People that they should avoid, both in and out of the church. Sexual Prdators, etc.
I had to teach my Deacons how to pass the Sacrament to Young and Older women who had way too much skin on display.

A word of caution. Oftentimes I have observed that the person who preaches the loudest about some form of immorality is having serious problems of his own. Perhaps they do this as a diversion technique. So when I say passionately I have to add "Be Thou Humble". The challenge is to Do Your Best at the things that bring you joy and happiness in a Christ Centered Lifestyle. Be the best runner, the best biker, the best musician, the best painter, the best whatever. Be the best Dad. There is a scripture in the Book of Revelation that basically says that the Lord prefers us either hot or cold. The luke warm He will spew out of his mouth."
posted at 23:14:42 on June 5, 2011 by 3R's
From a sister    
"I love this discussion. I relate to the Mr Rogers Elder's Quorum neighborhood comment but it is Relief Society instead.

I love this scrpiture: 2 Ne 1:21

2 Nephi 1:21
21 And now that my soul might have joy in you, and that my heart might leave this world with gladness because of you, that I might not be brought down with grief and sorrow to the grave, arise from the dust, my sons, and be men, and be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things, that ye may not come down into captivity;"
posted at 09:54:25 on June 6, 2011 by maddy

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"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay