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My Journey
By hrs7747
6/2/2011 10:13:42 PM
I had read and re-read Elder Kent Richards talk from this last conference entitled,"The Atonement Covers all Pain." What a powerful talk. I feel like he spoke directly to me.

I am a recovering addict that started out recovery and stopped because I thought that I could just stop. Although I did not act out in my addiction, my behaviors did not necessarily change.

I have been going through some hard trials. I have been out of working since November 2010 and my wife has been having serious health problems. She suffers PTSD. A lot of those symptoms were from her finding out about my addiction. The pain and suffering that I have seen her go through has been unbearable.

One of the hardest things that I have gone through is to know that my wife does not trust me. I never wanted to have anyone not trust me. But, there is hope and the spirit has given me so much hope to accept the past and to live my life like God wants me too. As I am charitable towards others, I loose myself and become a disciple. But I have also realized that God does want me to take care of myself and that it is okay for me to focus on me to get better.

I decided to finally go to a CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist)a few months ago. I have been having weekly sessions and doing EMDR. Although I know for a fact that God has forgiven me, it is important that I know that I have forgiven myself. I will never forget my sins as they will always be a reminder to me to be grateful and to stay sober.

We live in a very difficult day and age. Triggers are everywhere. I have finally come to a point in my life where nothing is more important that my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I know that the stronger I build that relationship, my relationship with my wife and children will grow stronger.

I am really bad at blogging but it has been therapeutic for me to write tonight. I am going to commit myself to writing at least a few times a week.

Comments:

Welcome    
"I look forward to reading more of what you write. I hope you are able to find a job soon. I was out of work for 2 years, so I know how that feels. I'm glad you found an addiction counselor. I've found that really helpful.
D"
posted at 23:58:24 on June 2, 2011 by dstanley
I know what your going through....    
"A couple of years back my mom and dad were diagnosed with a bunch of diseases including diabetes and hepatitis c and some others.My mom always has migraines and i can see her suffering.Her knowing about my addiction makes me feel responsible when i do something bad i can see her pain.I sometimes get the feeling my mom doesn't trust me she's always asking me what i'm doing and it gets me mad so i just explode! i know this is bad,but you have to understand like me i hurt my mom when she found out about my addiction so of course she's going to not trust me i know truly she's just looking out.I'm glad your going to write we'll be happy to hear from you!"
posted at 19:14:01 on June 3, 2011 by Teddy
Welcome    
"May I ask, what is EMDR?"
posted at 07:32:23 on June 4, 2011 by maddy


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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988