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First post here
By RogerRoger
5/31/2011 8:49:30 PM
Hello all. I've browsed around here a few times over the past year, and I figure it's a good time to start writing. My story is similar to many of yours. My addiction started with pornography abuse in my teens. I battled until I went on a mission. It resurfaced after my mission and then again after getting married 4 years ago. It got much worse then. The first few months of my marriage were very difficult. I didn't know how to deal with unmet expectations (which I now know were unfair). I turned to pornography and it led me to a path I never would have imagined. I eventually had two separate casual encounters, about a year and a half apart. My wife found pictures on our computer after the second time. I started by admitting only pornography use. She knew it was worse than that. Eventually I confessed the whole truth to her. I felt terrible, but I also felt some freedom. The truth was there. I could deal with it. Eventually the DC came. I was disfellowshipped. I was actually relieved. I had resigned myself to excommunication. Anyway, I started dealing the addiction. I went to recovery meetings every week. The meetings were brand new where I lived. For the first 3 months, I was the only addict who came. Was I the only addict in the stake? At first it was pretty shameful. But I grew to love going. Eventually others came. I read the Book of Mormon cover to cover. I read the Miracle of Forgiveness. All of this, combined with a lot of prayer and support from my wonderful wife, has helped me be clean for 14 months now. That's the longest I've been "sober" since my mission. The reason I have turned to this website is because I moved to another state a few months ago, and I don't have recovery meetings where I live now. It helps to write and read others' experiences. I'm glad I've been clean for the past year, but I know I'm only one bad decision from a relapse. I appreciate your support and understanding. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with a problem!

Comments:

Thanks!    
"Thanks for writing

I love hearing stories of recovery... it really, really helps me..and anchor me in the hope of recovery.. and in Jesus Christ.

Someday i hope a book will be written... called.. "Miracles of Recovery - with 10-20 real life stories of people who have actually recovered from this and have 5-10 years of sobriety,etc.."

I heard Jay Jensen talk recently (a general authority) about he has had over 50 years of reading the scriptures each day (without a slip)

We can only change the things in our control - and rely on GOD for everything regardless!

Im glad we're not alone out there Roger... there are literally tens of thousands of us... and what an army we will be.. when we all find each other"
posted at 22:01:10 on May 31, 2011 by gracefull
So glad you are here    
"What a wonderful contribution you will be. And what a very honest and frank post that was. Welcome! I feel weird saying that because I am so new here as well... and I have so little perspective on recovery. But for that very reason I am glad you are here."
posted at 22:09:09 on May 31, 2011 by maddy
Welcome!    
"Glad you came,this is a very great site and a life saver! it's a really helpful when you feel tempted or after you've given into temptation it helps you take a weight off. It's great to share with other people who understand you and what you are going through and what you went through. I hope you post as much as possible and again welcome!"
posted at 21:42:13 on June 2, 2011 by Teddy
Congrats!    
"14 months is great. My longest was 8 months. Have you talked with your bishop about getting meetings started where you are? If they know there is interest, maybe they can get one going. I hope you continue to post here. Welcome.
D"
posted at 00:04:45 on June 3, 2011 by dstanley


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006