3 days! I wish it were more.
By how can i be
5/30/2011 12:13:58 PM
I was free for 3 days! It was the best 3 days I have had for such a long time. I wish I could have been free longer. I sometime don't get why my mind can't grasp that the joy I receive from being free and being accompanied by the spirit is so much better than the temporal pleasure of sin partnered with the quick sorrow of guilt coming right behind it. This time in might only be 3 days free but this coming time will be longer. I want to be free and make it to this Sunday. Then hopefully when that day comes I can succeed at another week added upon the previous.


Never give up    
"I am so new here and so I went back and read your posts. I can tell that your heart is seeking the right things. And just the fact that you are here shows so much courage. I read that you are 18? I know that you have struggled for a long time, but I want to compliment you for not letting it go a day longer without getting the help you need. My husband went decades before getting help and we both wish that he would have been able to do what you are doing at the same age.

We just got the book "He Restoreth My Soul" because of how many times I saw it recommended on here. Have you read it? I am not finished, but it really hit home to me that there is a combination of things that must happen to prevent a relapse and to keep them away forever. Spiritual seeking is just one of those factors. You truly sound like a deeply spiritual person. I used to think, and many Bishops told us, that praying and reading scriptures and staying close to the spirit would prevent addiction from entering the mind and would keep the behavior away. I am starting to see how untrue that is. Addiction is a multi-fronted war and has to be defended on all sides, above and below. Bishops, ARP, counselors, and a sponser/sponsers are the barest minimum of people to have at your back.

My therapist said something powerful to my husband and I: She told us that addiction grows from something. Do you know WHERE the addiction is growing from for you? For my husband it grew from low self esteem and I desire to be able to control his own life when he felt out of control. I think for every person it is very personal and unique.

I have struggled with my testimony through this experience. But I feel like I can say again, that I believe that our Savior can heal any wound and remove every chain that binds us. I can hear your calling out for Him in your posts and your determination to be free through His grace. I believe you will make it."
posted at 19:56:14 on May 30, 2011 by maddy
"Thanks Maddy,

Ill see if I can get that book. Im slowly starting to understand what your talking about now. I've been reading up on multiple different help sites and many are saying what you just said, that its coming from multiply different fronts.

Today I read that when your addicted or craving something, the the part of your brain used for will power loses some strength. It can sometimes dwindle down to 30% of its strength to resist. (thats why I can never resist fresh home baked cookies!) So I can understand why its so tough because its not just Satan working against me but my body and mind working against me as well.

Its an intense battle between Satan, my bodily desires and my mind vs my heart, and my faith in God and the Savior. haha and I guess habit is mostly neutral, though it does switch back and forth.

Thanks again for all your help, it really strengths me to not only see that Im not the only one struggling but also that there are many who care. Oh and yes Im 18."
posted at 20:49:56 on May 30, 2011 by how can i be

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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990