i couldn't do it....
By taintedlove
5/29/2011 1:07:41 PM
I was going to talk to bishop about my past and I couldnt bring myself to do it. I jad text him saying I needed to talk amd he asked me today and I choked. He asked me multiple times.

Its one thing to type itball up. Its another to verbally say it. In a way I'm embarrassed. In another I'm just scared.

Another thing Ive had issues with is praying. I cant bring myself to. Funny thing is my bishop gave me an article entitled "Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer."

What irony. Im an idiot.


"Think of this as a baby step. Wanting to go talk to the bishop is the first step in actually going to talk to him. And after you do talk to him, you will feel so much better.
I've struggled with this issue many times in the past. Every time I finally did go talk to him, I felt so much better afterwards that I wished I'd gone sooner.
Best wishes,
posted at 14:00:07 on May 29, 2011 by hk-47
You're worth it    
"I almost responded to your "I Can't Breathe" blog, but didn’t have time. Don’t let the shame that Satan is feeding you keep you from getting the help you need. Your Heavenly Father and Mother and your older brother Christ love you beyond your ability to imagine. They want to help you more than anything. Satan will do all in his power to convince you not to do what will help you. DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! Push through all that resistance and get into healing. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

All that garbage and abuse in you past has nothing to do with your real self worth. You are the daughter of a Heavenly King and Queen. As you get into recovery you will begin to realize that and appreciate the real you.

I’ll be praying for you Princess."
posted at 14:51:31 on May 29, 2011 by justjohn
Me too    
"Wow, I would love to just hug you. I'm in the middle of doing this same thing with my past and wanting to talk about it, but not being able to quite do it. I believe I will someday soon. I have a lot of it typed up now and am thinking maybe I'll just read it to my Bishop or my therapist someday. Somehow that seems easier. I am not sure why it is so hard to say something out loud. I keep asking myself, "What am I afraid of loosing if I tell someone." I keep trying to tell myself that I have no where to go but up. I have an appointment with my therapist on Thursday. Maybe I can do it then.

I do know this, every time I do verbalize the truth, I feel liberated. I think it sounds like you and I are both ready to set something inside of us free. John 8:32 is pretty great on describing things I think.

I love what JustJohn said: You are worth it. And you can do it. And so can I."
posted at 22:38:36 on May 29, 2011 by maddy
write a letter    
"Almost five years ago I wrote the most important letter to date. My Bishop was only 27 and I was determined to have nothing to do with him. Just go to church and fly under the radar for I did not want to allow anyone to know of my struggles. I only lasted about 6 months, then he caught me during a vulnerable time (working long hours, been up for 36 hours)...and in the middle of me crying, he encouraged me to come meet with him.

I did not want to meet with him. I did not trust him. I had no reason to even say yes. I told him I would consider it. I went home and and just pondered if I was going to meet with him. Immediately I was overwhelmed by the spirit saying He is someone you can trust. Don't let this moment pass by without taking advantage of speaking with him. He will and can help you. I was terrified. Then a calmness came over me and I knew all would be ok.

I wondered how I was going to tell him of my struggles and what was going on and I was prompted to write a letter. So I did and I put it in the mailbox and the rest is history. It was the best thing I ever did. It takes a lot of courage to speak with your Bishop. SO if you are not able to say it verbally, write it down and send it. Don't let your fear of verbally saying what you've done impede the repentance process.

You are worth it. Don't give up."
posted at 23:02:11 on May 29, 2011 by rachp

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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987