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I think I am finding a voice
By maddy
5/28/2011 7:17:08 AM
I wrote all day yesterday. I didn't know I could find so much peace in writing. I took my kids to friends/ babysitters and wrote for about 14 hours straight. Oh my goodness it felt good. It was terrifying some of the things that came out. Boy am I messed up! LOL But I could see things when I wrote them down that I've never been able to see before. There they were...looking back at me.

I posted my background on here in detail, but quickly removed it. I am not sure if I am ready for that. Or if it is right to make it public. Most of all I don't think it is totally necessary to make it public...not right now anyway. I think I might mail it to my therapist though. I feel like I want someone who is on the 'outside' to read it.

I need to read over these 12 steps. I think I need to go to ARP meetings. But my husband goes to the local meetings and I feel like that is 'his space'. I feel like I need to find space of my own. Right now, this is my safe space with out him. I think I'll need more later. But for today, it helps.

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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004