Going to the Temple
By how can i be
5/3/2011 6:48:34 PM
I haven't been back here for awhile now. I tried to battle the temptation on my own. It only works some of the time and other times I fail. I want to change so badly that it hurts my heart. Im so sick of myself. No wonder I have troubles with self confidence. I just want this over with. I want God to take over and take the pain away. Im scared. A youth temple trip is coming up and I can't lie to my bishop but I want to go to the temple so bad. I want help but I don't want people to think less of me. Who can I talk to? How can I go to the temple? How can I experience what Alma the Younger experience and be good to go in 3 days? I want to be finished with this and I want to work as hard as I can to be finished with it. I want to be worthy to go on a mission today even though it is so many months away. I want to be whole.


You have more courage that I did at your age    
"Im guessing you are 17-8 yrs old.. I wish I would have had your courage to disclose this at your age. Instead I lied to the bishop. Lied to myself. Lied to everyone for 20 years. It tooks me 20 years to realize that I couldnt fix the problem myself.

To fix your problem, you will need some help and you will have to really want it. you will have to want it enough to do anything to fix it. Its going to take some time. You are probably addicted and will battle it for a long time.

I spent 20+ years lieing to everyone and myself about my problem. It got way worse for me. I finally had to get professional help and join a 12 step program. I felt shame attending the meetings the first time. I felt broken. I felt like maybe I didnt belong there. I felt they were way worse than me. I kept going because I wanted to get fixed so bad. I feel a fellowship toward the men in those groups. They are all ages -- old, young, in between. The reason they are useful is that they keep you honest. You need an accountability team. A sponsor and some friends that you can be very honest to. That will ask you the blunt questions if you are slipping. People that you can call when you are suffering.

somehow you need to find the serenity so you arent white knuckling through it. You will never will that battle in the long run.

may you find peace "
posted at 21:58:33 on May 3, 2011 by Hurtallover
Pray, Pray, Pray    
"I sense that God has something to tell you..

we could yak about all our ideas.. and give you advice and wisdom.. but you might not listen (I know I wouldn't when I was your age)

So.. take it to God.. and listen for longer than 5 minutes. it's HARD WORK... (in my opinion) to initially develop a real relationship with God....

just think of Joseph Smith... he was opposed by some pretty serious forces... all because he wanted to ask a simple question.

you are at the beginning of a great life...and Satan wants you to get stuck in the SHAME cycle... he's working on you right now..

time to FIGHT... !!!"
posted at 22:17:14 on May 3, 2011 by gracefull
go see him!    
"Two of my favorite quotes I’m going to paraphrase a little.
Golden Kimball once said they would kick me out of the church but I repent to damn fast. And Brigham Young said “I would rather be at the gates of hell going the right direction than at the gates of heaven going the wrong direction!

Go see your bishop, repent as fast and as often as you need to. Each time you do you can have the spirit back. Satan wants you to lie, procrastinate repentance, and go to the temple unworthily! The lord shows us our weaknesses so we can turn to him and through the refining fires of repentance he will make us stronger. He will carry you when you need it, and lift you up when you are week, but only if you turn to him and fully repent! Your heart is telling you what to do. Be patient with the repentance process, and faithful in your repentance!

My prayers are with you! Stay strong! Go see the bishop!"
posted at 00:10:42 on May 4, 2011 by 30years
Talk to your Bishop    
"Your Bishop can help you. Don't worry about what other people think of you. Do what you need to do for you. Do what you need to do to be worthy. Talk to your parents. It will be hard to recover without your parents knowing. Your parents and Bishop can help you through this process. Start working the steps. You can do this. Now is the time, fix it before it gets too out of hand. You can do this!"
posted at 00:22:27 on May 4, 2011 by dstanley
Thoughts from my Bishop    
"After the two speakers spoke beautifully on the atonement and resurrection, my Bishop spoke a few words and he ended with this statement. He asked us to turn to DC 84:49-51 which states:

And the whole aworld lieth in sin, and groaneth underbdarkness and under the cbondage of sin.

And by this you may know they are under the abondage of sin,because they come not unto me.

For whoso cometh not unto me is under the abondage of sin.

Then he followed with this statement, I understand it is difficult to come to a Bishop to talk about the misdeeds you have done in your life. It's hard. Many think we're good friends, I don't want him to know, what will he think of me now? As a Bishop, I will not think less of you if you come to speak with me. I will think more of you for having the strength and courage to humble yourself to lay your burdens at the Savior's feet. Our Savior did not come here to judge us, He came to love and teach us. The same I come to do, to love and teach you. Each time I meet with someone, it is an uplifting experience for both of us. Notice I did not say easy. Uplifting!

INCREDIBLE words of encouragement. "
posted at 23:41:15 on May 4, 2011 by rachp
"What is it exactly that you're struggling with? I read your other blog post and it said that you were able to give up p~rnography when you were younger. Did you go back to it or is it just the desire to return to it that haunts you? If you're still free from it, then I would say that you shouldn't be beating yourself up so badly. The thing about getting addicted is that, even when you break away from the addiction, you're still an addict. Those desires never go away.

If it's m~sturbation you're struggling with, then remember that pretty much every guy does it in their lifetime so no one should think less of you for it. If anything, I would think more of you for having the courage to confess it. I never could.

But also remember that being tempted isn't a sin. Only if you entertain the temptations and give in does it become a sin."
posted at 02:00:25 on May 5, 2011 by Zero
I know...    
"I know the feeling i want to to be worthy to go to my mission so bad and the temple too.....its a big part of the reason i started trying to break my addiction. Every time i fall i feel farther from my goal and farther from my dream to be a missionary farther from my happiness. I use to feel bad about myself but you shouldn't put yourself down so much be happy that you are trying to become better and thats a great thing.I also feel bad when a youth trip is coming up i feel bad that i won't get to go i feel bad that i cant use my priesthood powers i feel bad that i can't take the sacrement, but then i say one day i will because i am trying to break my addiction i will one day and that day when i step into the temple really worthy well i'll have to go before i can express what it feels like.Don't go to the temple if you feel you shouldn't i use to do that alot my opinion talk to your bishop he can help.good luck."
posted at 08:15:01 on May 5, 2011 by Teddy
How Can I Be    
"I know I'm posting kinda late, and you've probably already handled the issue, but I'm guessing your're around my age (16-18) and I'd thought I would put my two cents in, one youth to another.

I've found myself in this situation plenty of times. I wanted desperately to go into the temple, everyone in my youth was going, and if I didn't go, I would look bad, because I'm one of the older kids and had to set an example for everyone.

I made the mistake of going in. I wasn't ready, I didn't feel ready, but because of pride I went in. I felt good when I was in there. I won't lie. I was an amazing experience. However, I didn't belong there. The entire time, I kept thinking that I shouldn't have come. The temple is a holy place, no un-clean thing should go in there, and I was still un-clean.

Go in there, when YOU are ready. When YOU feel that it's alright to enter. Yes, you've failed sometimes, but failing is apart of life. It's just minor set back. Pick yourself up and move on. Keep moving.

Heavenly Father knows your heart, so ask him. Ask him if it's okay for you to enter. If you get a confirmation, then let these bad thoughts that are holding your down go! If you don't get a confirmation, then you know what you have to do, become worthy so you can enter through those doors and feel like you belong there.

Follow the advice that the ones before me have given you. Read what they've given to you to read, as well as conference talks. Stand in Holy places, and always have a prayer in your heart.

My seminary's theme for this year was to put on the Armor of God. I invite you to do just that.

I love you! You're awesome! And I'm praying for you! I hope that you find your way and that feel whole once again.

I love to sing, and 'How Can I Be' is one of my favorite songs. Especially on an uke. I sang it with a couple of my friends one time during a rehearsal we had. It was AWESOME!"
posted at 20:59:10 on May 15, 2011 by Fa'amoemoe

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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987