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Addiction Recovery.
By doanair
10/16/2006 9:50:23 AM
A few years ago, I sat listening to President Hinckley speak on pornography in General Priesthood Meeting with my brother-in-law. During the meeting, I had that familiar guilt pressure rise in my heart... You know, that pang of guilt that rises from inside your heart and spreads through your body until it clouds your mind with nothing but thoughts of worthlessness.

Once the meeting was over, my brother-in-law says: "I feel so bad for guys that are dealing with pornography addiction. They say it is even harder to kick than drug addiction."

Oh how embarrassed and hopeless I felt. One part of me was almost ready to tell him about my life-long struggle with pornography. Another part of me was so embarrassed, ashamed and guilt-ridden that I wanted to die. And yet another part of me started planning on how I would tell my wife about my latest relapse...

I had acted out again after a few years of relative sobriety from my addiction. I had lied to my wife about it. I told her everything was great and fine. I attended my church meetings and went through the motions. I even held down an important position in our local church but I still had that black cloud of sin over my head for months. This talk from the prophet was my call to action.

So, I told my wife about my recent failures to do what is right. I told her what I had done (although I did not tell her all the details I should have, I found out later that she had a totally different idea of what I had done and not done). I told her, like so many other addicts, I was done with my addiction and I would do anything to remove it.

That led me to calling the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints headquarters (my church). They told me about Addiction Recovery Groups in my area that specifically addressed pornography addiction. I decided I would go. I decided it was finally time to rid my life of this pain.

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"In recent years, as I have sung the hymns of the Atonement, it has been with an especially full heart—and also with full voice, when I can continue to sing—lines such as “How great thou art,” “I scarce can take it in,” “To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,” “I stand all amazed,” and “Oh, it is wonderful!”"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987