By faith21
4/30/2011 4:27:17 PM
So my 10th wedding anniversary is coming up. My husband wants to go and get away and take a vacation. I am so stressed because I dont even know why he would want to do that. He doesn't spend time with me when I am home. He doesnt with the kids. We rarely talk (and not because I don't try thats for sure) And the worst part is- I feel like going to a bed and breakfast type thing- is just a time that he can watch TV, and have all the s~x he wants.

So do I plan something? Having him home for 6 days without work would pretty much be a hellish experience....


only you can decide what to do.. it makes me reflect on my past behavior.    
"I felt really bad reading your post. I felt bad because I started to wonder if my wife was anxious about our "vacations" and "get aways" back before I was in recovery. I know that when I was full on in my addiction, i would be only be thinking about sx as well.

Only you know what to do.. Perhaps you schedule the vacation and all of the activities so there is less time. Perhaps you set expectations ahead of time-- quantity of sx, amount of required foreplay, etc.. i know checklists arent very sexy but they are really good for men's brains.

good luck"
posted at 19:20:25 on April 30, 2011 by Hurtallover
I agree    
"Only you can make that decision. I suggest some time praying about it. Whatever you do, I agree that making sure the two of you are on the same page is a good idea."
posted at 00:58:04 on May 1, 2011 by dstanley

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"By emulating the Master, who endured temptations but “gave no heed unto them,” we, too, can live in a world filled with temptations “such as [are] common to man”. Of course Jesus noticed the tremendous temptations that came to him, but He did not process and reprocess them. Instead, He rejected them promptly. If we entertain temptations, soon they begin entertaining us! Turning these unwanted lodgers away at the doorstep of the mind is one way of giving “no heed.” Besides, these would-be lodgers are actually barbarians who, if admitted, can be evicted only with great trauma."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987