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Feeling Like A New Person!
By Zero
4/24/2011 11:04:04 PM
In the past few days, I've been having this strange feeling that I've never felt before. At first, I didn't know what it was or what to make of it. It was so foreign to me. But now I know. For the first time in my life, I'm finally at peace with myself. It's quite possibly the greatest feeling in the world.

Last Sunday, I came to the realization that I really didn't know who I was, that I had never really known, and that I didn't understand why I'd done the things I'd done. So I prayed about it, for Heavenly Father to show me who I was. As the week progressed, I discovered one thing after another about myself through various means (website articles, other people, just pondering, etc.) and each time it was this sort of mini epiphany. Around Friday or so is when I started to feel this feeling of peace with myself. I think that's come because I'm finally beginning to understand who I am and I know now that what I've done isn't because of some great evil born into me, but rather innocently because certain things never came to pass in my life that I subconsciously yearned for, needs that were never met. Anyway, this is the best I've ever felt in my life, and it's all because the Lord saw fit in His infinite mercy to spare me, one of the vilest of sinners.

Truly I can say right now that I feel like a new person. I look back at the past few years and can't even recognize the person I was, like he wasn't even me. He was surrounded by darkness and withdrawn from the world and his family and friends. He hated church and never read his scriptures. He never fasted and had no charity. He was too afraid to really try to become better because he knew it would require a lot from him.

The person I am now, the real me, is the exact opposite. I feel this lightness inside of me. I love to be around my family and friends. I want church to come and I love listening to General Conference talks and spiritual music. I read and study the gospel every morning and I've learned so much and it is tremendously awesome.

I know the Atonement is real. It is powerful. It has changed me. Slowly and over time, but I have changed. And it is only in and through Christ that this change has come. I love it. I love Christ. I love Heavenly Father. I love the Atonement and to be able to focus so much on the Resurrection this day. Life is good!

Comments:

right on    
"I love that feeling of peace. I have it too, brother. It changed EVERYTHING about my life!"
posted at 15:12:53 on April 25, 2011 by lawrence
Wow!    
"That is amazing! I am so happy that you were able to figure so many things out and feel so much better. I know it took a lot of courage to reach out and to really fight this stuff. Congratts on making these steps in your life. I hope that you keep it up!

Praying for you!"
posted at 00:22:03 on April 28, 2011 by faith21
Thanks    
"I will say that, even though I wish I could keep up the feeling of peace I've experienced in the past few days, it's still a battle every day. Today, I wasn't quite so peaceful, even though I've been doing all the right things. I say this because I don't want anyone to read my above blog and think that they're not doing good enough if they're not having that same feeling. Really, today was quite crummy for me. I felt like giving in to my good ol' security blanket of m~sturbation, but I haven't and I'm glad. There will be good days and great days, but there will also be blah days and days that feel blacker than the abyss. We just have to keep our guards up and remain steadfast, despite how weak we may feel. Also, this site helps me tremendously. I love all the support. You guys/girls rock!"
posted at 00:57:14 on April 28, 2011 by Zero
great for you    
"I'm glad you feel yourself now! and im also happy you found out so many things about you real self and changed for the better keep it up."
posted at 15:57:11 on April 28, 2011 by teddy
Your story    
"This reminds so much about my journey out of darkness and into His marvelous light. For me, Alma 32 was the beginning of that peaceful feeling that surpasses all understanding. Oh, there have been days of darkness and struggle. As Brigham Young once said, "as soon as you embrace the light and walk in His paths, ALL THE BELLS OF HELL START RINGING!"

My daily walk and talk with the Lord allows me to keep that peace. My weekly partaking of the Sacrament is vital. I can't imagine having an excuse not to attend. And when I go to the Temple I am filled with peace and inspiration from on high. I do know that the arm of flesh is weak---man it is weak---so easy to give in--- so alluring---

Here is something that caught my ear from our last General Conference. It was a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott. He described "the awesome feminine splendor of righteous womanhood". Doesn't it feel good to see your sisters as daughters of our Heavenly Father, as partakers of the Heavenly Gift. When I see filthy tabloids at the grocery checkout, I say to myself, "I am sure glad that I was raised by a Mother who loved the Lord and taught me to respect womanhood. But, as human nature went, I fell into a trap and could not escape until the Lord taught me who I really was.

Thank You Zero for your post. You are no Zero in my book."
posted at 22:50:50 on April 28, 2011 by 3R's
Zero is now a BORN AGAIN HERO    
"Great blog post Zero. I think of King Benjamin and how a mighty change of heart can happen.

One by One... satan is losing the war for the hearts of men.... the great thing is that we haven't only found peace...but we are that much stronger for seeing the devil's work and for coming out of it (knowing that there but for the Grace of God GO WE.

I love hearing about your progress...... thanks so much for posting."
posted at 01:52:44 on April 29, 2011 by gracefull


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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987