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Feeling Amazing
By dstanley
4/1/2011 11:51:29 PM
I feel so good. Today is day 14! The last two days have been so very hard. I had huge urges both days. I didn't give up though. I kept trying and kept praying, and it paid off. I stayed sober and I feel like I'm floating on cloud 9 today. It feels so good to have success, especially with big urges. There is no acting out that would have made me feel this good even for a short time. This is a natural high, and I love it. One thing that has helped me is very honest prayers when I'm struggling. I told Heavenly Father that part of me wanted to have sexual conversations with men but that I really wanted to stay sober. I asked for help letting go of my acting out desires.

Another thing I've learned recently. My ability to manage my emotions and my ability to manage my addiction are directly related. I promised my addiction counselor that I would work really hard on that, and I have been. I tend to have really strong emotions, and that scares me, so I tend to either stuff my emotions or numb them with my addiction. I've realized that if I'm having urges, there's probably at least one emotion behind it. Now when I have an urge I stop and try to figure out what I'm feeling. It has really helped. True to form these last urges corresponded to feeling very numb. I was stuffing my emotions. I think the pieces needed to overcome this addiction are starting to really fall into place and make sense for me.

Someone (sorry I don't remember who) also suggested that there may be a monthly cycle component to my struggles as well and I think that may be true as well.

I just want to say that God is awesome and amazing. He wants to help us, and is willing to take whatever we can give Him. Even if we just want to want to stay sober, He will take that and work with it. I wasn't 100% committed last night, but He worked with the committment I did have and the desire I had to be fully committed. Sobriety is possible. Urges go away without acting on them (it took 2 days, but it did happen). We can withstand temptation. We can be healed. I believe all of this again. I'm looking forward to watching as much of Conference as possible this weekend. Life is amazing.

D

Comments:

Support    
"Great job! I think the important thing to remember is don't rest too long on your success because that is when Satan will get you. When I feel good about a day or my ability to control myself, I try to become more pro-active in keeping my thoughts clean because I know that Satan will come back even harder.

I read Alma 50 tonight. It talks about how Moroni "did not stop making preparations for war." Even when the Lamanites weren't attacking he used the time to protect the city with mounds of earth, fences, sticks, towers etc. Whatever was necessary to plan for the next possible "episode." What better weekend to prepare "for war" than to fortify our hearts and minds by listening to our prophets and apostles.

All the best!"
posted at 01:55:11 on April 2, 2011 by Anonymous
Congratulations!!    
"On day 14 you should feel great and keep feeling great but also be aware because like anonymous said thats when he gets you.I today was left alone for a hour and although i knew it was risky i stayed and i did not fall or see or do anything sexual i am also very happy i feel strong and i know it couldn't of been possible without god by my side.

good job and good luck i'll know you'll make it to 15!"
posted at 18:14:31 on April 2, 2011 by Teddy
Won't let down    
"I won't let down. I know all too well what can happen when I do. I had 8 months twice, and the second time definitely ended because I let down my guard. I plan to keep working on my emotions, going to ARP, working the steps, working to improve my spirituality, going to counseling, and all the other things that help keep me safe. I know this won't be the last test. I'm sure there will be more temptation and I want to be ready for it. I want to be done with this addiction. I so love the way I feel right now. I've come down off of cloud nine, but I still feel great. I've only gotten to watch the first session of conference, but I look forward to the rest. I even started today with scriptures and prayer. Day 16!"
posted at 22:13:44 on April 3, 2011 by dstanley
Like!    
"Where's the LIKE button! LIKE!LIKE!LIKE!LIKE!LIKE!LIKE!"
posted at 13:12:18 on April 4, 2011 by 4intow


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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990