Checking in for Support
By matt78
3/29/2011 10:19:40 PM
I use to be an porn/mb addict about eleven years ago. Up until lately I have had it under control. That is where Satan gets you though. He allows you to get a little confident and little comfortable and then he comes in for the kill.

Just to make a things little more interesting is that I struggle with Same Gender Attraction. Days vary. Sometimes I loathe the idea. Other times it becomes very very difficult. I don't know why that is. My wife knows and I spoke to her lately that I am a low point about it. I told her that I wish I was an alcoholic or something instead then I would not be so embarrassed. But that is a really dumb thing to say and I mean know disrespect to those struggling with that trial.

Lately thoughts have been wondering and I find myself slipping looking at people online in their underwear. Really dumb. I feel really bad about because I know it is on the path back to where I don't want to be. The last thing I want to do is hurt my family.

I guess I just wanted to get it out there (at this site) so I can come to terms that I need the Savior in my life. This morning I listened to three GC talks in a row first thing. It help me through the day. I realize that on days that I feel confident that I can handle my issues that is probably when I need the Savior the most.

I rate my days from a one to ten. 1 is when I loathe the sin. 5 is when I am looking at pictures I shouldn't. (I don't want to discuss 5 and above which is where I was eleven years ago) Yesterday was a 5, today was a 3. Over the last ten years I hover around 2. I try to aim for that so I can take it day by day.



Add a Comment:

***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)

"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002