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Question about lines
By dstanley
3/17/2011 12:03:19 PM
This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm struggling with it and I don't think I'm the only one. I can't bring myself to discuss it with my counselor. With mb, when is it a slip/relapse that you reset your date for? If you notice you're lingering too long doing something legitamate and stop is that a slip? At what point? If you start and quit is it a slip? At what point? I don't want to be pushing the line, but if I have it's hard to know if I should reset my date or not. I'd love to know what other people's thoughts are.

Comments:

Tough question,    
"In my own recovery, if I am doing something legitimate for too long, and then notice and stop, then I would not call that a slip. But if it goes on for more than five or six seconds, then that would really be kind of borderline. I know that the times I have the most trouble are in the middle of the night or a few minutes before I'm fully awake in the morning because I often find myself masturbating in my sleep. I'm trying to get better at it, and it's not happening nearly as often as it used to, but I do not count those as slips unless I consciously decide to continue.

Maybe that's a good rule to go by, if you consciously intend to pleasure yourself, and then you do it, that becomes a slip. That's just my opinion."
posted at 12:24:28 on March 17, 2011 by ETTE
By the way,    
"This would probably be an excellent question for your counselor. I mean think about it, what is your counselor getting paid to do?"
posted at 12:26:00 on March 17, 2011 by ETTE
Consciousness    
"I think that's a good rule, that if you do something consciously, intending to pleasure yourself then it is a slip. I think I've been intentionally lingering and then trying to justify it. I also think I've been starting things and then trying to tell myself it isn't a slip because I didn't finish. I've even tried to tell myself I feel guilty for some reason other than having crossed the line. It feels crappy to have to send an email telling my support people that this is day 0 instead of day 5 (like I said in an earlier email), but i think it's the right thing to do. I really hate this addiction sometimes."
posted at 17:59:42 on March 18, 2011 by dstanley
defining a slip    
"The reality is that often times I use the justification that I've already pretty much slipped...so I might as well slip the rest of the way. The other night I turned on the TV and there was a sex scene, I changed the channel, but I hesitated. I was tempted...I wasn't turned on at all, but I just paused like I wanted to watch it and justified it b/c no body parts were showing. I then watched some other TV with a feeling of temptation to watch something that would turn me on...in the end I just went to sleep. Did I slip? Well, maybe slightly...I was tempted...but I finally turned away and I actually saw nudity on another channel and immediately switched the channel. I'm glad to say that I turned away and next time...I WILL NOT HESITATE! So, in the end, I'm not counting it as a slip...just as a weak moment where I eventually made the right choice!"
posted at 16:39:51 on March 21, 2011 by Anonymous
I've Used That One Too    
"I almost always slip the rest of the way if I decide I've crossed the line. Friday was one of those times. I'd kind of been starting things Thursday and Friday morning. The guilt was killing me. When I finally acknowledged to myself that I'd crossed the line I figured I might as well do more. I didn't even wait to get home from work to mb. That really makes me realize how much I'm sliding. I tried to convince myself I hadn't crossed the line so that I wouldn't go further, but I couldn't. I wouldn't consider your example a slip anon."
posted at 17:22:11 on March 23, 2011 by dstanley
aagghh...    
"Well, I was tempted again tonight...lame as it is...I starting reading books about photography...I saw some pictures of nudity and quickly flipped through the books...acting as if I was looking for real reading material, but part of me wanted to see nude bodies...I finally closed it and started listening to a conference session. I don't know why I seek it...I wasn't even turned on at all or anything. I am glad that I didn't get to the point that it turned me on...mostly I just felt sick. I am moving forward...not counting that as a slip either...I think it's helping me move forward... b/c although I am feeling very tempted I am moving forward w/o taking it to the next level of being turned on and then MBing."
posted at 18:53:50 on March 26, 2011 by Anonymous
Once I start, I finish.....    
"For me, it's not a slip unless I go all the way. Having said that, I know that if I start, I'm probably going to want to finish. As an addict, it's the orgasm that we are addicted to, not the build up. So I don't start. Sounds easy, i know. You need to get to a place in your mind that you don't want to reach for your junk every time you stumble onto a nude picture.....did you really just stumble upon it? Stop putting yourself into those kinds of situations."
posted at 15:03:22 on March 27, 2011 by chefdalet


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