Question about lines
By dstanley
3/17/2011 12:03:19 PM
This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm struggling with it and I don't think I'm the only one. I can't bring myself to discuss it with my counselor. With mb, when is it a slip/relapse that you reset your date for? If you notice you're lingering too long doing something legitamate and stop is that a slip? At what point? If you start and quit is it a slip? At what point? I don't want to be pushing the line, but if I have it's hard to know if I should reset my date or not. I'd love to know what other people's thoughts are.


Tough question,    
"In my own recovery, if I am doing something legitimate for too long, and then notice and stop, then I would not call that a slip. But if it goes on for more than five or six seconds, then that would really be kind of borderline. I know that the times I have the most trouble are in the middle of the night or a few minutes before I'm fully awake in the morning because I often find myself masturbating in my sleep. I'm trying to get better at it, and it's not happening nearly as often as it used to, but I do not count those as slips unless I consciously decide to continue.

Maybe that's a good rule to go by, if you consciously intend to pleasure yourself, and then you do it, that becomes a slip. That's just my opinion."
posted at 12:24:28 on March 17, 2011 by ETTE
By the way,    
"This would probably be an excellent question for your counselor. I mean think about it, what is your counselor getting paid to do?"
posted at 12:26:00 on March 17, 2011 by ETTE
"I think that's a good rule, that if you do something consciously, intending to pleasure yourself then it is a slip. I think I've been intentionally lingering and then trying to justify it. I also think I've been starting things and then trying to tell myself it isn't a slip because I didn't finish. I've even tried to tell myself I feel guilty for some reason other than having crossed the line. It feels crappy to have to send an email telling my support people that this is day 0 instead of day 5 (like I said in an earlier email), but i think it's the right thing to do. I really hate this addiction sometimes."
posted at 17:59:42 on March 18, 2011 by dstanley
defining a slip    
"The reality is that often times I use the justification that I've already pretty much I might as well slip the rest of the way. The other night I turned on the TV and there was a sex scene, I changed the channel, but I hesitated. I was tempted...I wasn't turned on at all, but I just paused like I wanted to watch it and justified it b/c no body parts were showing. I then watched some other TV with a feeling of temptation to watch something that would turn me the end I just went to sleep. Did I slip? Well, maybe slightly...I was tempted...but I finally turned away and I actually saw nudity on another channel and immediately switched the channel. I'm glad to say that I turned away and next time...I WILL NOT HESITATE! So, in the end, I'm not counting it as a slip...just as a weak moment where I eventually made the right choice!"
posted at 16:39:51 on March 21, 2011 by Anonymous
I've Used That One Too    
"I almost always slip the rest of the way if I decide I've crossed the line. Friday was one of those times. I'd kind of been starting things Thursday and Friday morning. The guilt was killing me. When I finally acknowledged to myself that I'd crossed the line I figured I might as well do more. I didn't even wait to get home from work to mb. That really makes me realize how much I'm sliding. I tried to convince myself I hadn't crossed the line so that I wouldn't go further, but I couldn't. I wouldn't consider your example a slip anon."
posted at 17:22:11 on March 23, 2011 by dstanley
"Well, I was tempted again tonight...lame as it is...I starting reading books about photography...I saw some pictures of nudity and quickly flipped through the books...acting as if I was looking for real reading material, but part of me wanted to see nude bodies...I finally closed it and started listening to a conference session. I don't know why I seek it...I wasn't even turned on at all or anything. I am glad that I didn't get to the point that it turned me on...mostly I just felt sick. I am moving forward...not counting that as a slip either...I think it's helping me move forward... b/c although I am feeling very tempted I am moving forward w/o taking it to the next level of being turned on and then MBing."
posted at 18:53:50 on March 26, 2011 by Anonymous
Once I start, I finish.....    
"For me, it's not a slip unless I go all the way. Having said that, I know that if I start, I'm probably going to want to finish. As an addict, it's the orgasm that we are addicted to, not the build up. So I don't start. Sounds easy, i know. You need to get to a place in your mind that you don't want to reach for your junk every time you stumble onto a nude picture.....did you really just stumble upon it? Stop putting yourself into those kinds of situations."
posted at 15:03:22 on March 27, 2011 by chefdalet

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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006