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back on day 4
By kaybee
3/12/2011 4:28:04 PM
so im back on day 4 and for the first time in my life (only 19 years, but still) i am beginning to have self worth issues. i feel unwanted and unloved. i always wondered how someone could feel like god doesnt love them, but i have been feeling that way lately. when i try to talk to my friends i feel like i am pestering them, and i feel like when i pray god isnt listening.

Comments:

another thing    
"i am trying to, but i just dont feel any motivation to make the effort to change anymore."
posted at 16:32:12 on March 12, 2011 by kaybee
I understand    
"I feel like crap right now. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to who understands. I don't know if I feel like God isn't listening, but I haven't thought about that a lot. Part of me doesn't want to change right now either. It feels like it would be easier to act out to make all of these horrible feelings go away. I feel like I shouldn't have had my son. Part of me wishes I was dead. I don't know what to tell you. I'm trying to figure it out myself. Know that you aren't alone though."
posted at 16:58:58 on March 12, 2011 by dstanley
D and K    
"Addiction is serious bussiness but it is not THAT important. It is not so big that a slip should kill us. I mean it! If it is too much to begin right now, than GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! Lust is a part of the mortal condition and we shouldn't whip ourselves into such a hopeless state for being human. It is one thing if you don't suffer with the disease of "addcition" and blatantly defy God. That isn't the case, though. We are mentally ill and for some of us it is damn near impossible to stay clean at this stage in our lives. Many will disagree with me but I am qualified to talk. I've been clean for 9 years and I tell people I come across who are inching towards suicide because they can't stay clean to not take things so seriously. If you can't stay clean right now- DON"T. You can still follow God in other aspects of your life. Do everything ELSE you can do! Do those thnigs that ARE within your power to do and DON'T FREAKIN' WORRY ABOUT THE REST! Leave your sobriety in Heavenly Fathers able hands. Trust that He will make the pathway easy for you to get clean in due time but until then keep the faith and serve others. (service for you D is just being present for your kids)

It is pride and the devil that is behind what you are feeling right now. We are not required to run faster than we are able to walk. Think about that, please. Blesed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they will be filled. (in Gods wise timing)"
posted at 00:44:10 on March 13, 2011 by Anonymous
no.    
"anon, i read your comment, and thought about it a long time, although i am pretty tired, and i just cant find a way to agree with you. i wish my feelings of doubt were just based on my addiction, but they arent. it would be so easy to say "ya, right now i just cant." but i cant do that. i need to go on a mission and im tired of waiting. i need to get sober and go! im four days in, and i dont want to lose those four days. otherwise, im just setting myself further and further back. being in my addiction kills me. i hate being at church because of it. not that i hate church, i just feel so aweful that i cant be there. ugh. i need to get started with a councelor."
posted at 01:17:25 on March 13, 2011 by kaybee
I agree Kaybee    
"As much as I would like an excuse to act out right now, there is none. I have to give sobriety my all. I feel like crap because I acted out. Continuing to act out is only going to make it worse. I let my recovery plan slide. I cut myself some slack on not keeping up on scripture study while I was sick, but I should have kept praying even if it was only to pray for help with sobriety. I can't ever afford to quit praying for that. Kaybee, we can get to our goals if we just keep trying. You'll go on your mission, I'll get to the temple. Seeing a counselor is good. I wish I'd seen my addiction counselor last week. I'm glad I at least saw my other counselor to help deal with the aftermath. It's hard right now, but I know from experience that it will get better if I can just hold on."
posted at 13:02:29 on March 13, 2011 by dstanley
Self Worth    
"I doubt my own self worth at times as well. Over the past year, since I started my recovery I have felt as low as I could go. However, then the spirit hits me and I say to myself, "awake my soul and no longer droop in sin!" I then realize that I am a son of the most powerful Being in the universe, and He has infinite love for me. I am worth something. Not just something, but I am worth everything to my God who loves me without condition or bounds. He loves us all the same, and for me that helps uplift the worth that I place upon myself. You and me are God's best work, and He has faith in us. He trusts us. We can also have faith in Him, and trust Him.

L"
posted at 09:04:05 on March 15, 2011 by lawrence


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