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Got Burned
By dstanley
3/10/2011 6:27:59 PM
Well, playing with fire caught up with me and I got burned. I clearly crossed the line with porn and mb, so instead of this being day 41, it's day 0. It's clear to me again that if I'm close enough to the line to wonder where exactly it is, I'm too close! I've got an appointment on my phone to remind me to read scriptures tonight once my son is in bed. It's going to be hard to start sobriety tonight, but I'm going to try, and for sure I need tomorrow to be Day 1. I have been kind of numb, but I cried all through counseling today. I want to cry now but I can't because I'm at work. I'm trying to be gentle with myself, but I'm ticked with myself. I feel so stupid, like such a failure, and like I'll never get a patriarchal blessing, get to the temple, or be able to date. Why did I have to get sick and why does that have to be such a trigger?

Comments:

Hope    
"So very sorry to hear of your set back. 41 days is a victory though! Trust in God and go on."
posted at 18:49:52 on March 10, 2011 by loving wife
bad day?    
"Sorry, for your bad day. Get up...start sobriety again or misery will only get worse. :)"
posted at 19:17:04 on March 10, 2011 by jdean88
((((hug))))    
"To you Sister D."
posted at 01:51:12 on March 11, 2011 by Hero
I started sobriety again    
"the misery is still worse....I feel like shit."
posted at 17:01:24 on March 12, 2011 by dstanley
stay up    
"I hope you don't listen to the devil now that he is trying to make you feel worse than you really should. Heavenly Father loves you and that love is without condition of any kind. Just let the past be, learn from it, and move on (into the loving arms of your Savior). You are in my prayers, D.

L"
posted at 09:16:45 on March 15, 2011 by lawrence
......    
"I know how it feels to fight it off and then just fall and feeling like all that was for nothing.I only went 3 weeks sober and fell but to me i feel good because that was a big step for me the longest i gone in years.So i think that you shouldn't be all that down sure you made a mistake but 41 days that a great accomplishment! So the best thing to do when you fall is to get up and try harder this time believe in yourself and believe in god he will be with you every day every hour until next thing you know your over 41 days sober!"
posted at 09:12:04 on March 26, 2011 by Teddy


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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967