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i suck
By kaybee
2/28/2011 4:51:53 PM
i am a failure. i cant do anything right. i am back on day 3 and im stuck. i cant go anywhere or progress in life. i have screwed my life up so badly that i cant do anything. i have estranged my best friend by my addiction. i can go on a mission yet, whilst i watch all my friends even friends younger than me, leaving on thier missions. listened to a farewell yesterday. made me depressed. all i can do is sit at home. ya, what a great place to be. THAT doesnt foster my addiction at all. i cant go back to school while i get my act together to go on a mission because i cant get an endorsement from my bishop. i was so upset by all this that i let my temper slip. i threw my phone. i thought about it first. i aimed at the couch. i knew there was a chance that even that might not be a good idea. i missed the couch. it hit the wall. now it barely functions. life sucks. i suck. i hate myself. i may as well be exed. i cant take the sacrament. i cant do ANYTHING much less do anything right.

Comments:

All is not lost    
"We've all felt that way, Kaybee. Things only LOOK bleak. You have a lot going for you. Unlike many of us on here time is actually on your side. You have time to overcome these shortcomings and still have a great life. I understnand how awful everything seems. That is a tough age even for people without an addiction. You have a lot on your plate right now. You have a gift. It's called Today. You have a choice. You can give up, or you can find that one thing that you have to be grateful for. It's hard to see when life seems to be crumbling all around you but you have so much life ahead of you and so much forgiveness that is just there for you to take advantage of. You can begin again, right now. If a mission isn't in the cards for you right now, go to school. You don't need your bishops endorsement to go to school. You can also look for a job in the meantime. But most importantly, you can choose to work a program of recovery. There's a light at the end of the tunnel but it requires putting one foot in front of the other and walking in the direction of recovery. Believe it or not, you are lucky to be dealing with this addiction early in life instead of letting it fester into something that does get you exe'd. You can do it. Let this be a turning point. Find a good recovery group that you can do bussiness with and work the 12 Steps with a sponsor. You'll be surprised at how much better things can be."
posted at 17:14:29 on February 28, 2011 by Anonymous
Don't give up    
"Please stay close to your bishop and work hard, hard, hard at overcoming your addiction. You are young and your heart is soft. Humble yourself and do all that needs to be done. You will look back at this experience and never forget that this is where you came to know that the atonement is real. We all care about you."
posted at 17:15:42 on February 28, 2011 by loving wife
Kaybee    
"Well Satan loves to tell lies! Lies like you suck, you will never amount to anything, you have no friends, you do not deserve happiness. In fact he,(Satan) would love to steal your destiny. H wants your most powerful possession. Your Sexuality! Your post sounds like you are ready to give it to him, that old horny head..

Come on Kaybee! Fight, this is a war and you have all the tools to be successful if you put your armor on. You have a birthright that is in jeopardy. You are a chosen Son. You have a calling! Do not kick against the pricks. Be a man. Accept accountability for your actions. Be humble and contrite. Call on your older brother, your Savior Jesus Christ, call on him to redeem your soul and body. Pray for the cleansing power that only the Savior can bring.

You have shown great courage by being honest with your Bishop and not going into the mission field unworthy. Now get to work! Get clean, cast Satan out! Pray for angles to surround you! Get rid of all your electronics... Any temptation. Clean house with a vengeance.

Pray morning and night and all day if necessary.
read scriptures and recovery material every day, 12 steps, recovery books!
Go to meetings
Call a sponsor every day

Just do these basics everyday and you will start to see a change.
Love and prayers

Christ"
posted at 19:32:50 on February 28, 2011 by Anonymous
Anon above!    
"That was me. That " Christ " was carried down from a previous paragraph. Using my I pad and not familiar with it... although maybe not a mistake?? ;-)"
posted at 19:33:53 on February 28, 2011 by Hero
No You Don't!!!!    
"Day 3 is a success. I know it doesn't seem that way when your goal is more. I slipped after almost 8 months and then took about 4 months to get back to a month (in two hours it will be a month). You have to not beat yourself up. I know that's a hard thing to do, but it helped me a ton. It's hard to watch other people doing something you want to do. Why do you need permission from your bishop to go to school? Next time you feel the urge to throw something, I suggest throwing a pillow. :) Make a list of all the things you can do right. If you can't think of any, ask others for input. I'll help you start. You are being honest about your addiction and trying to fix it. You can do this. Look at your slips and see if there are things you can change to make you less likely to slip. For example, if they seem to happen after watching shows like Greys Anatomy, then be pickier about what you watch. You CAN do this! I know it seems so hopeless some times, but it is possible. You've had some success, now you just need to make it more consistent. Don't give up. Come back frequently and let us know how you're doing."
posted at 00:11:33 on March 1, 2011 by dstanley


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"Now brethren, the time has come for any one of us who is so involved to pull himself out of the mire, to stand above this evil thing, to “look to God and live” (Alma 37:47). We do not have to view salacious magazines. We do not have to read books laden with smut. We do not have to watch television that is beneath wholesome standards. We do not have to rent movies that depict that which is filthy. We do not have to sit at the computer and play with ographic material found on the Internet."

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004