Feeling motivated and happy?
By jdean88
2/27/2011 5:26:34 PM
So, I am at 9 days sober and tomorrow I complete 10! I promised my wife on the 18th that it was day one and I would go 10 days completely sober. I realize there is a huge risk of disappointing her, but I just felt like it was the right thing to do. After tomorrow, I'm going to make another commitment. I really do feel great. Hormones kicked in this morning, but I just stayed away from anything that might be stimulating and did great.

I really am feeling the spirit and hope to make this a permanent change. There was a talk today in church. I've always felt very strongly about the standards of the church and I have been very blessed of a strong testimony of the importance of obedience. I have seen the blessings of obedience and different miracles in my life. Well, the lesson talked about how we have different types of miracles at different times. Sometimes the Lord wants us to show more faith and get tossed around in the sea a little bit before he loosens the bands that binds us, other times he will give us the strength to break the bands that binds us and it will happen quickly! Just like Nephi. It was such a great lesson. The important thing, is to keep the faith and keep trying. I know this has been challenging, but I also know that as I continue to show faith in the Lord, he will return my will and break the chains that bind me down.

I know when I am really getting the spirit back because I feel a happiness inside my bosom...I general feeling of contentment. I also feel like whistling or humming...all the time. Usually, it ends up being a church hymn, although I certainly don't do it on purpose. It's just what seems to pop into my subconscious. Well, just thankful for the atonement and the makes life so much better...and gives me so much hope for the future.


"Congratulations! I hope you made it through day 10. Keep up the good work."
posted at 00:23:14 on March 1, 2011 by dstanley
"I made it to day ten and I am working on 21...21 days to make a habit right? I'm getting there."
posted at 09:46:07 on March 5, 2011 by jdean88
21 days....    
"for a habit break an addiction, I wouldn't count on it. I'm on day 37, and while things are better and easier, I am still tempted and I still can't let my guard down at all. There are times I'd still like to indulge in my addiction. That desire is not completely gone. Keep going though, you're doing well."
posted at 15:38:42 on March 6, 2011 by dstanley
Day 21    
"Well, it's the morning of the 21st and I'm feeling good so far. I know that change happens slowly, but I want to make a goal of making it to 30 days. I just need to keep blogging and focusing on my scriptures. It's tough being away from family but it just makes me more excited to see them in a couple months and even more motivated to be sober when I meet them again."
posted at 19:15:57 on March 10, 2011 by jdean88
Go Jdean88    
"Be strong as you have shown you can be! You are taking back your sexuality. Congrats! Keep the Saviour as your guide, healer and friend."
posted at 01:49:42 on March 11, 2011 by Hero
keep going    
"I am torn whether counting days has helped me or hindered me in the past. I always find myself doing it, but it makes the anniversaries dangerous for me (right after 30 day mark, or 100 day mark, or whatever). Many have fallen the same week as they celebrated their one year mark. I have found a happy medium. I don't obsess on my days clean, but I have an app on my phone that keeps track, so I can look it up from time to time. I am early in this phase of sobriety, so I know that I am 36 days clean today. Congrats on your 21 days! I've heard 21 days makes a habit, but I think that applies to a behavior, not avoidance of one. So what good habit have you taken on the last 21 days? Daily scripture? Daily prayer? See what I'm saying? It can't be the "habit" of no porn or mb, because NOT doing those isn't an act or behavior. I've struggled with this myself. Going without my addictions makes the hole in my soul blatantly obvious, as those addictions filled that hole. Now I can choose to fill it with other addictions like food or caffeine, but the right choice for me would be to let God fill it. Fill it with my dailies, but also add in a bit of real-life, non-religious wholesome activities. That is my worst struggle. I get bored with any "new hobbies" as it has been suggested. But I have found joy in just spending time with my kids. That is a lot of fun, and we have grown much closer together.

love, peace

posted at 09:37:27 on March 15, 2011 by lawrence
32 days    
"and counting! Scripture study everyday and recovery blogging or journaling! Wahoo!"
posted at 07:12:58 on March 22, 2011 by jdean88
"Scripture study and blogging or journaling are great habits. I'm still working on those. :)"
posted at 17:05:30 on March 23, 2011 by dstanley
Keep going!!!    
"That is great you have made it this long! What a huge accomplishment. Best of luck to you!"
posted at 03:53:18 on March 30, 2011 by faith21
"It's been tough for the last two nights and I started giving in last night...watched videos on youtube that turned me on for about 2.5 hours...I was very tempted to act out...clearly wrong, but I justified b/c no nudity was showing...I know weak. I'm happy to say that I didn't act out, but I know it won't be long before I do unless I start digging myself out of this hole again. yesterday was day 41...when does it get easier?"
posted at 17:55:11 on March 31, 2011 by jdean88
"How is watching 2.5 hours of arousing material not acting out? I don't think it has to be nude to be porn. I don't think there's a magic time when it gets easier, but it does get easier. I've had periods of time where it has been easier."
posted at 22:37:21 on March 31, 2011 by dstanley
acting out    
"I've always thought of "acting out" as MB, sure I was turned on...but I did not MB. I know that going farther, I would have felt much worse. I agree, doesn't have to be nude to be porn. I'm feeling better today...not really feeling tempted anymore."
posted at 05:20:52 on April 1, 2011 by jdean88
Porn and Acting Out    
"I think porn would definitely be acting out and a slip, and I would define porn as material that arouses us. Now if women in swimsuits is a problem for you and you see some when you go to the beach, I wouldn't consider it a slip if you work the 3 second rule, but if you intentionally go seeking pictures of women in swimsuits, I would think that is acting out and a slip. Think about it from your wife and/or bishop's perspective for a moment. What would they think about you spending 2.5 hours watching arousing videos? Better yet, what does God think about it. I'm glad you were able to keep from mb, but it doesn't change how right or wrong the videos were. When I was last online having cybersex with someone, I was able to turn down his offers to meet in person to have sex. That was a big success for me, but the cybersex was still wrong. I don't mean to offend you, or burst your bubble, but I think your chances of success are much less if you're not totally honest and seeing all of your behaviors for what they are. This is all my opinion from what I've learned in the treatment of my own addiction, so make your own decision.
I'm glad you're feeling better today."
posted at 09:20:14 on April 1, 2011 by dstanley
I agree.    
"Hey, I completely agree w/ what you are saying. I'm not saying that it was ok or that I didn't slip, but I still didn't masturbate. Just like you turning down sex was a small victory. I'm still tracking that I have not MBed in 42 days and I've already talked to my wife about my 'slip' and apologized to her. I know I put myself in a hole by the way I acted and I could have fallen further. I didn't watch anything that was worse than an rated R movie or a TV show. But I still agree that if it turns me on it's matter the content. I guess I might have given the wrong impression that I thought it was ok in my comments. Ultimately, the real conquest is when I am in complete control of my thoughts and then yes, I will be able to see a girl in a bikini and have no impure thoughts. Right now, I would be tempted and have to push them out...but I will be there someday. Anyways, thanks for being candid...I always appreciate your input DSTANLEY!"
posted at 17:23:26 on April 1, 2011 by jdean88

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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990