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24 days gone.
By kaybee
2/16/2011 1:53:19 AM
i know they arent wasted, but it sure seems like it. i also know its not any fault other than my own, but it sure seems like it mite have played out different if the person who schedulesthe appointments for the bishop hadnt forgotten to tell me about my appointment. for a week i have been trying to get the apointment reset, but it never happened. i want to scream. i want to throw something as hard as i can against the wall and watch it break. im mad at myself, and at the clerk or whatever he is called, and at my friend who is sort of a sponser, and slightly at my bishop. but mostly at myself and the executive secratary. but mostly at myself. i hate crying. oh how i want to punch a hole in the wall. im just rambling now, trying to expess and sort my feelings. ugh. i know my dad is going to aska bout it soon, i am so ashamed. i havent been 100% the past week on reading my scriptures or recovery material or saying my prayers. this means that when i get my physical, instad of being at day 48, i will be at day 23 what a shame.

Comments:

Congrats    
"Kaybee,

Congrats on making it 24 days. That is a major accomplishment. Get up, brush yourself off, and move on. This is how things go. We love you and have seen great things from you. We expect to see more great things this time around. The Savior loves you more than you can understand, no matter what you have done. Part of you wants to blame others, part wants to take full responsibility for your actions. Nurture the good part. Starve the natural man to death. Don't worry. You are on the right track. Everything, right now, at this very moment, is exactly how God wants it to be for you, all of your situations. Feel His love and get up and get back to work. It is very hard work. I'm 46 and have only made it 9 days so far. I just hope I can get to 24. You are an awesome son of God."
posted at 09:55:11 on February 16, 2011 by lawrence
Kaybee,    
"I know it's hard to believe, but I wish I could be in your position. Your future is so bright and untarnished. You are going to be worthy of serving a mission! That's incredible! It's so much better than how I did it. I lied my way through my mission interviews, then I repented and almost got sent home in the MTC. Staying at home a little while before your on your mission is much better than going home early. You're taking the right steps, and that's amazing. Don't beat yourself up, and don't worry about the bishop. He can help you repent, but he cant take the addiction from you. You need to do that on your own, and you know that, so there's no need to be frustrated with anyone."
posted at 10:09:14 on February 16, 2011 by ETTE
a lottle clairification    
"the reason i am frustrated by not being able to meet with my bishop is that he is an awesome man and so spiritual. when i talk to him i am able to be spiritually fed. like i said, it may have made a difference or it may not. but the meeting is finally going to happen tonight."
posted at 12:52:47 on February 16, 2011 by kaybee
Kaybee    
"I'm so sorry. Don't get too down on yourself. Dust yourself off and get back on track with the things you need to do to stay sober (prayer, scripture study, etc.). Screaming and crying aren't all bad. Don't stuff the emotions. Now you know you can make 24 days, now this time you can make it even further.

I hope your appointment with the bishop went well."
posted at 00:44:24 on February 17, 2011 by dstanley


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"In recent years, as I have sung the hymns of the Atonement, it has been with an especially full heart—and also with full voice, when I can continue to sing—lines such as “How great thou art,” “I scarce can take it in,” “To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,” “I stand all amazed,” and “Oh, it is wonderful!”"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987