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The top lesson I learned in prison:
By hubster
2/8/2011 7:14:16 PM
Fight for what you want.

I want Katie to be my Eternal Companion. I WILL NOT EVER give up fighting for her. Some, including my own mother, have suggested she leave me. I want her to love me of her own free will more than I want anything in God's creation. My one goal is to win her heart and be that Eternal Companion she loves and deserves. All other good acts and goals only lead to that one supreme goal. I chose to repent just so I could have the chance to win her. I will understand if she never does choose me; what I have done is awful! I have taken her life. That doesn't mean I will give up without a fight. Some people think they are helping me, they may be helping Katie, by telling us to divorce. They have a right to their opinions. Some are horrified by what I have done, some feel sorry for Katie, some are feeling sorry for themselves and just projecting their own self pity on others. They may even not ever have known anything worth fighting for. My Katie is worth all the fight my body, heart, mind, strength and spirit contain. Even should she choose some dead soldier boy over me at the judgment bar, having lived this life trying to win her, living with her,and loving her will be a blessing few men would understand. I know some, like Rugga, understand what I am saying. I will love Katie for all Eternity, regardless of whether she chooses me or not. I have no plan B. Katie is my plan A. She is my contingency plan. Katie is my ALL.

p.s. I only work in a prison.

Comments:

I know exactly what the Hunkster means here    
"Never say die.

I just finished listening to a podcast on the mormon channel about forgiveness. A story about a LDS family who learned to forgive the murderer of their father. Long story short, I was reminded again that forgiveness is a process, and takes time. Here is the amazing reminder:

The comforter is there to comfort us from the moment of crisis through to the day of realization that forgiveness is free. I never realized this but how amazing to know we have the comforter to give us peace when we want it and ask for it.

Then Forgiveness bring true happiness but it is not a one day thing and it may take years.

We just go to hang in there Hubster, our beloved significant others are Ensign Wives in the making. Just will take time.

Please Lord let it be tomorrow if thou hast a miracle up thy sleeve.

If not no worries "
posted at 21:42:15 on February 8, 2011 by ruggaexpat
Thoughts.    
"One thing that this post makes me worry about is the motivation to change is based on being something for someone else. I spent a better part of my life living for my future spouse in every decision that I made. I had certain expectations of the way that my spouse would be in the future, as we all do, however, I fell in love w/ someone that was different. This made me have a huge paradigm shift. I've realized since that I have to base my decisions on what I want and make my choices w/ a foundation on Christ based on His love for me. I saw my father fall away from the church after my parents got divorced. I realized that my mom was the spiritual leader in my home and not my father. He was active in the church b/c of her. Once they separated, the church was not an important part of his life, b/c he didn't want the church that much, he wanted her. I am not saying this is the case w/ you Brother, just that I would be cautious. Make sure you are repenting b/c you want to repent and basing that repentance on a foundation in Christ. Godspeed and good luck moving forward. I hope that you are able to win back her heart."
posted at 04:18:11 on February 9, 2011 by jdean88
Too Stubborn    
":o) I am too stubborn to have repented without it having a foundation in Christ. It would never have stuck otherwise. I tried every other way to no avail. Should Katie leave and be gone when I get home from work, I won’t go back…this is the real deal. Thanks anyway for the concern. :o)"
posted at 11:20:42 on February 9, 2011 by hubster
All I have to say is...    
"I know what you and Katie are going through. My heart goes out to the both of you and my prayers are with you. Life is so hard sometimes. Luckily, things always change, and usually for the better. Keep up with your program of recovery hubster. That is so important. Then, come hell or high water, you have some real grace on your side to see you through. Give her as much time as she needs. We all heal differently."
posted at 11:33:34 on February 9, 2011 by Anonymous


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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006