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what a fantastic day!
By They Speak
2/2/2011 8:38:02 PM
Wow...as impossible as it may seem the process of pulling these masks off so far has been AWESOME!!! (and ya'll know my policy on caps). No more lies! And I'm not just talking about chastity/infidelity/addiction. I'm talking we've both been thrown into make or break positions that have spurned absolute honesty and openess (intimacy?!?! Web definition of intimacy - familiarity: close or warm friendship; "the absence of fences created a mysterious intimacy in which no one knew privacy. Aaahhh. Aint that the most beautiful thing you've ever read? No fences! Motha funk those fences!) and the liberation of being able to be fully honest about our needs, wants, fears, and even demands - met or unmet, with out hesitation and with out guile or concern for judgment or rejection is...pff well, long over do.

And wholly shit my wife is cool. Don't get me wrong we have an understanding that some days (like yesterday) shes gonna wanna call Lorena Bobbit to put a hit out on me and I'm totally freaking cool with that...but gd...things sure are great for at least today (given the circumstances of course) and I'm feeling optimistic.

I registered for school (physics. hell to the yeah)! I got a job that rules. And I'm finally thinking about life without the looming question marks over every point of it. I mean I know addiction wise I still got my crap to take care of. But just the fact that relationship wise I think I may see a tiny tiny ray of light at the end of this rabbit hole for possibly the first time ever is...pff, well long over due. This really has forced the issue of "where the hell are we at? Where the hell do we want to go?" on both ends with a kind of no holds bar naked as jay bird soul - what ya see is what ya get policy, that I sure dig. And I'm grateful to my Abba for that.

Question, and we kind of pitched this to the therapist today: Has anyone else felt good at all so soon after something so utterly suck fest? Why do we feel so decent? I mean, we still cry n shit and it sucks. But are we just in denial? Or is the atonement just super (su)-real? Or maybe just kinda both? Any similar experiences out there? What should I expect from here? Ladies?

Thanks,

Code :)

Comments:

Remember this feeling    
"You have come so far. Life can be good! Enjoy the highs. Don't wait for the other shoe to drop. Just stay in today. That's all the unwarranted advice I've got. Just enjoy."
posted at 21:59:58 on February 2, 2011 by Anonymous
Cody    
"Happy for you buddy but be warned:

Some people react differently to shock.
The reality will take time for her and so just be nice and kind and loving and understanding if ever she wants to take you head off.

Kind of like: OK honey you hold the knife while I mark the spot.

Just know she will experience the roller coaster when reality sets in slowly and that is when you need to SPEAK very carefully and thoughtfully."
posted at 22:24:37 on February 2, 2011 by ruggaexpat
Honeymoon!!!!    
"This was the most beautiful, terrible,exquisitely raw emotional and physical experience, I know that doesn't make sense, I have ever encountered. I rationalized it as a blessing to allow us to experience what had been missing in our union. What were we doing before??? What we should have been experiencing. What a Celestial marriage could be. What we will fight for, work for, sacrifice for, even allow our familiar selves to be killed in the hopes of the new turned round right clay our Savior will help us mold.

"
posted at 02:48:04 on February 3, 2011 by Hero
wonderful    
"I told you so. You may not remember, but I did :) I knew you could come clean, and begin to bask in the glow of the love the Lord has been just been waiting to give you.

What Rugga said about your wife. I've been where she is, and it'sj ust that- a roller coaster. If you stay on the path, you are likely to steadily improve, but she may seem to be on the two steps forward, one step back plan. Be patient. Forgiveness is a different road than repentance. Try not to give her too much advice.

So happy for you!"
posted at 11:01:07 on February 3, 2011 by Anonymous
Ha!    
"If I'm picking up what you're throwin down correctly you (you?) better believe I remember! It did/does await me. You were right. Thank you for sharing your experience. Really. Thanks."
posted at 14:47:11 on February 4, 2011 by they speak
Good for you They Speak    
"I am glad you were finally able to free the both of you, that is wonderful news!!! Now you can really start living your real life. It will be hard but there is happiness and peace along the way and at the end of the road...there is much to rejoice about, theyspeak finally free from the slavery of lies and able to finally work on becoming the Man the Lord intended you to become. good luck to you
crushed"
posted at 22:08:03 on February 4, 2011 by Anonymous


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