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back to square one
By kaybee
1/23/2011 10:21:05 AM
its been a long time. after i joined this website i went in and told my bishop everything. after talking for a long time he told me to avoid the internet as that was my only conection to porn. that was in august. i work for quite a while with my bishop and twice i made it to 14 days. both were between the beginning of october and the end of november. since then i havent gone more than 5 days and i havent gone to talk to my bishop. i know i need to and i plan on making the appointment today, but i feel so ashamed that i have not only relapsed, but abandoned truely trying to overcome this. i decided to come back to this website since 1. i am on the internet anyway, so that is no longer an excuse and 2. i installed a great internet filter called K9.
after my long hiatus from my weekly talks with my bishop and from studying the addiction recovery manual and from this blog, i feel that a fresh approach is neccesary. i keep telling myself "i am on step 4. i have done this and that and have come so far." and i HAD come so far. but now i am right back where i was 5 years ago, 1 year ago or even 6 months ago. but today is a new day. today is day #2. and today i am going to start back at page one in the recover manual.

Comments:

You're Not at Square One    
"You aren't at square one. You may be back to acting out the way you did before, but you aren't at square one. Think of all the things you've learned and done along the way. We're always going back through the steps to learn more, but that doesn't mean we have to start over every time we slip. I hope you make an appointment. Don't let shame keep you from doing the right thing. Welcome back."
posted at 19:36:46 on January 23, 2011 by dstanley
Hiding from bishops    
"I "hid" from bishops that I had confessed too, or at least I would lie to them and pretend it was over. I understand the fear of telling someone you haven't been successful. I remember looks in bishops' or my mission president's eyes when I said I hadn't been successful. Please continue working with your bishop, he wants to help you."
posted at 20:11:53 on January 23, 2011 by hubster


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"We cannot keep one foot in the Church and one foot in the world. One reason is the world and the Church are rapidly diverging. We will lose our balance.We know that "no man can serve two masters." Some, I fear, are attempting to do what President Marion G. Romney described as trying to "serve the Lord without offending the devil." "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006