I Want to Quit
By dstanley
1/21/2011 8:12:15 PM
I'm so ready to quit, more church than sobriety. It's just all more than I can do. I feel like I'm just trying to survive, and everybody has all this stuff they want me to do and I don't understand half of it. I'm not sure I buy the whole just repent and you'll be sober, but maybe I just don't understand repentance. I feel like people around me think this should be easy and it isn't. I'm frustrated and confused and tired.


"You can do this.

Refocus here for a sec.

Repentance is the key to sobriety, don't trust anything you see here, it is all just opinions from people you have no knowledge of as people.

Trust what the Lord tells you.

If he tells you to leave this church - then do it
If he tells you you D can do this without repentance - then do it.
If he says listen to me carefully - then do it.
If he says Ruggaexpat is speaking out of his backside - then so be it.

refocus you can do this"
posted at 21:00:59 on January 21, 2011 by ruggaexpat
It's not you Rugga    
"I appreciate your comments on repentance and sobriety. I still don't get it, but I think that's me not you. If I was good at listening to God I wouldn't be in half the mess I'm in. I don't think I'm supposed to leave the church, but I'm frustrated with the process. I don't feel like I know what's expected other than I need to stay sober until my bishop thinks I've been sober long enough. To be completely honest, I also struggle with the idea that masturbation is wrong. I know it's something I need to quit because it's a problem for me. I'm just frustrated, tired, and confused."
posted at 21:37:08 on January 21, 2011 by dstanley
Fast and Pray    
"Fast and pray and see what you think when you finish your fast. God is real. Focus on him not your Bishop, not and people, only him. Never put your trust in people. They can help you but they are not God. People can have good ideas, but they cannot heal you.

Get up and find someone who is worse off than you and help them. That will bring you back to reality faster than anything else. The church is not the answer. It never was and never will be. It only happens to be true. Focus on God the Father and his son Jesus Christ. It is really that simple. Read your scriptures. Pray and read Matthew. Give Christ as much time as you give your addiction. Okay so you fall. Let's say you gave your addiction 2 hours today. Give Christ 2 hours and read, pray, serve someone. Is someone you know in a bad way? Call them and say something nice to them. Don't talk about you. Just focus on them. Call an old person and tell them they are on your mind. Bake soomething with your kids and take it to someone. Connect with people in a way that is not about you, but about them. Connect with them and trust in the Lord. This is so simple an it works 100% of the time it is practiced. Make yourself do it and it will lift you, and you will see and feel how blessed you are.

Just do it!"
posted at 22:04:08 on January 21, 2011 by Anonymous
"You are getting to where you need to be to end this mess. We can all see progress in your thinking.
Perhapse you are getting to that point where you just have to give your whole self to God, I mean all of you. You are honest about where you are, you have struggled a long time but we will all reach that point by working hard on ourselves. You are getting there and when you get there it will be like someone flips an internal switch within you. You have no more desire to do evil, any evil.

An inexplicable change. It is real, just want it as badly as you can. Continue to let that desire grow.

That is how real it has been for me, a flagging miracle I underestimate with my limited knowledge.

Carry on you are getting there."
posted at 22:54:39 on January 21, 2011 by ruggaexpat
"I'm not good at fasting. I don't totally get it. I've never felt like it helped with anything. I do what I can for people, but I can't do stuff with a 1 year old like I used to. The people I know mostly don't tell me anything about them because they know how much I'm dealing with. Trusting in the Lord is another hard one for me. I'm new to all this. I didn't get to grow up in the church.

I don't know much about what it means to give your whole self to God. Here's my other problem. I don't know that I've bought into masturbation being evil. Sex outside of marriage I get, porn maybe.

I want sobriety. I think there are things about myself that need fixed before I can get there. I don't know that it has anything to do with repentance. Maybe I'm totally stinking wrong."
posted at 23:16:24 on January 21, 2011 by dstanley
Step 6    
"Step 6 D. Read step 6 you may not be there in recovery yet but read it anyway.

Pray, no Plead with earnest heart, God knows your heart, for God to destroy your flesh to let your spirit rule your flesh.

About the MB? Can you accomplish this without lust? Lust is a sin. commandment 10. No matter what church you attend or believe to be true. This is what God wrote with his own finger it was so important.

Love to you.."
posted at 23:40:10 on January 21, 2011 by Hero
I will    
"I'll read step 6 again.

I think you can mb without lust. I think sometimes it is just about getting the chemical release in your brain. I would say that most of the time I'm not thinking about anything but the result. If I could take a pill and get the same result I would (and please no one tell me if there is such a pill). I will admit that there are times when I'm thinking of other things. Maybe I'm wrong."
posted at 00:14:17 on January 22, 2011 by dstanley
I believe you.    
"I have an understanding of what you are saying about the chemical release. I understand that there are those who are totally into their own bodies when they MB. I believe that is why many well meaning leaders advise so many of those who struggle with lust and mb or porn and mb not to worry about it because it will go away when they get married.

Most women who mb do not do so with images or lust they are just into their bodies and the release. My personal opinion is. And take it for just that. If you turn your will over to God, that should include your flesh. If God now is the owner of your flesh you should ask Him. If you were married then you would also have to get the permission from him. Because you gave yourself to him in your marriage covenant. So first get permission from God.

My thoughts only but based on scripture and all the crappy wisdom I have gained in this mortal experience."
posted at 00:59:44 on January 22, 2011 by Hero
"I appreciate your comments. I wish I was married. I'd probably be sober if I was. I did mb and use porn during my first marriage, but it was encouraged by my husband. I was fine during my second marriage. But since I'm not, I have to deal with things, and since I'm not sure totally dropping church is the right thing either, I guess I better keep working on this. Really I just want to understand things that people that have been members longer seem to understand better. I want to understand what I need to do besides quitting mb. Even turning my will over to God is something I struggle understanding somewhat."
posted at 01:22:35 on January 22, 2011 by dstanley
Patience D    
"It ALL comes line upon line precept on precept, here a little there a little. I have seen your growth as you gain understanding. Do you journal? If you do you might want to do a little review. You will see your growth. If you do not journal, start and be sure to include spiritual experiences. Try journaling your prayer. Write your prayer as you are giving it. When you her the quiet leading voice, write that down. This practice is called capturing. It is an amazing way to meditate, journal, and pray at the same time. Remember the spirit does not drive you. It leads!!!"
posted at 01:33:47 on January 22, 2011 by Hero
I'll try that    
"I'll try to be patient. It's definitely not my strong suit. :) I do journal some. I know I've grown, just not as much as I would like. I don't feel like I have a lot of spiritual experiences to include, but maybe I'm just not seeing them as that. I'll have to try journaling my prayer."
posted at 02:06:52 on January 22, 2011 by dstanley
"I don't fast. I don't call people. I don't know anyone to help. I have little ones.

We all want to change, but how can we be open to letting God change us when we have a set of rules and excuses? In effect, we are asking God to "change me", but it can't involve calling a sponsor, or fasting, because we don't do that. How can He help you when you have so many rules? Could it be that the rules you have of "I can'ts" might be walls you have allowed satan to build to block you from God? I undersand not knowing the rules because I am a convert too and some of the stuff just does not make any sense. It is not about the church and the rules. You already know inside your heart all truth, you just have to be willing to see it. The spirit will testify all truth to you. I too raise small children and it is hard to do some things for others, but not impossible. You know what you can and cannot do. You can make a call and say hi, write a little note saying, "I was thinking about you" . I am not trying to be so hard on you. God can change you, but you have to be willing to let him change you and that means that you have to be open to a new way of thinking. In step 6, you only need to be willing to change. If you are open, he will help you. Put down your walls and don't worry about what you did wrong and trust God. He loves you with or without your sins. He just wants you to be happy. How willing are you to be happy? Maybe you are not able to stop MB rght now, but what are you able to do? Make a call, fast, pray for someone. Pick something that you can do and go for it! God will do the work for us if we are willing to let him in. If you look at any picture of Christ a the door, you will notice that the door has no handle on the outside. That is because the handle is on the inside. We are on the inside and we have to open the door to let him in. He cannot come in without our invitation. That's all he wants from us. Sounds to easy to be true, but it is true."
posted at 10:35:19 on January 22, 2011 by Anonymous
"OK, I was starting to write about the stuff in your fist sentence anon, but then I wondered if I was just making excuses. I feel like I'm so at my maximum already that I don't know if I can take on things like my anxiety with phone calls. I am so stressed out right now. I guess I need to be open to that stuff though."
posted at 14:28:41 on January 22, 2011 by dstanley
I know you pray for me.    

I know you pray for me, so I will pray for you as well. I understand the concept of MB being just a bodily function without lust. That's where I am often. Once last night, once this morning. I need step 1 right now. The thing is that you and I both know is that MB is pure selfishness; I serve no one but ME. I am going to lose myself in service, but also can't reach out because of little ones. I just now decided to serve my kids. Do stuff with them. Play with them. They love this, and I hope it gets me out of myself. Let's start being sober right now. Ready set go.

posted at 17:29:14 on January 22, 2011 by Lawrence
"Thanks for the prayers and support. You're right. MB is selfish. Today is Day 1 of hopefully many. I want to be the best mom I can be for my kids. I get to go help do shelf paper for one of the sisters I visit teach on Tuesday. She's moving into a new house. I'm going to take my little one with me. I think serving your kids sounds like a great idea. I need to try and do more with mine too. I'm on for being sober. :)"
posted at 00:03:59 on January 24, 2011 by dstanley
"how about take a break form it for a little stop worrying about it. like just relax and live life your the things you have to do. you mentioned before, if you were only married, that might only fix part of the problem for a minute, you're still take a vacation from you. and come back in a few days....

i am hesitatant to this, do is good, but sometimes, all i want is someone to listen, and tell me i good and doing alright....i don't need the gospel thrown at me every get gospel burn out i dont think i will include a lengthy do this do that know what to do....just ease in to it......

i think being men, we are hill climber and problems solvers...when 80% of the time we should just listen...thats all im saying.

cheer up, your life doesnt suck that bad..."
posted at 04:56:43 on January 24, 2011 by Anonymous

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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990