Disclosure?? Be Honest!
By hero
1/10/2011 4:28:04 PM
I posted this earlier but it was on the spouses side. This really applies to the addict.

Be Honest!

I know you will be loved. I know you are loved. It will be so liberating for you. You will feel free. Finally! Your wife will need time, help her. She loves you! Love her, be there for her. Hold her, comfort her. Weep with her. I was so forgiving in the beginning. Some women are. My codependent behaviors liked being the savior. I was going to pull him through this come hell or high water. Get him to the right counselor, read the right books, make sure he talk to his Priesthood Leaders, tell him what scriptures to read. He was willing, Heck his life was on the line! He did not know what to do. Do not let her fall into that hole. She is not your Savior. Take the lead in your recovery. Show her you mean what you are saying by seeking all the recovery tools you can get your hands on. Show her by your behavior.

Help her to find support through the PASG'S program for spouses in your area. If there is not one. Help her find one. Or tell your Priesthood leaders they need to talk to Family Services and get one going. She will not be the only one who needs this support if there is not one. The manual is on this site on the left in purple. This is all there is until the final Family Support Manual is approved.

Pray and enlist the help of your Heavenly Father in your disclosure.

Be careful with details. Answer all her questions, but be careful with details. Even if she asks, remember she will never forget the details. The devil is in the details. I wish I did not know so much of the details. I wish I did not ask for them. But, this is woman's nature. Be prepared to talk. She will need to talk and talk and talk and talk. I never thought I would be that way. I hated talk, talk, talk, talk.... But, I soon learned it was therapy. Encourage her to talk to you and to find someone she can talk to. If she is getting quiet, distant, she needs to talk. Be honest, brutally honest, do not protect any of your addiction. If she can get to a support group quickly, she will get the support she truly needs instead of telling a friend or relative who may or may not have any experience in this and will cause her more pain because she will have to deal with their issues and possibly their inability to forgive.

"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:

Choose to Be Alive
Choose to Believe
Choose to Change
Choose to Be Different
Choose to Exercise
Choose to Be Free "— Russell M. NelsonGeneral Conference, October 1988

It is always about agency....


Good stuff    
"Thanks Hero. I have experienced being both an addict and a rescuer/co-dependent. It seems at times that I am on automatic pilot. As with both addiction and co dependency, I needed help and a strong desire to be healthy. I trusted in my wife to help me when my co-dependent behaviors presented themselves. I relied on the Lord to change my fallen sensuous to one that mirrored the Law of the Lord and described in Ephesians chapter 5.

Good post dear sister. I am glad to have have you in my company."
posted at 23:47:34 on January 10, 2011 by 3R's
Back to you!    
"Glad you are back Mig, I believe."
posted at 00:48:03 on January 11, 2011 by Hero

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"One of the false notions of our society is that we are victims of our appetites and passions. But the truth is that the body is controlled by the spirit which inhabits it."

— Terrance D. Olson

“Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar. 1981